Equidae
by Hell789abdv
Summary: AU: Ste, Amy, her boyfriend and the kids are on holiday in Ireland. Leah wants to go horse riding. Ste falls for the yard owner.
1. Chapter 1

AU.

Leah's 8 nearly 9 in this I just needed her a bit older.

Rating: Hard M

Warning: M/M sex, bad language

* * *

When Amy and her boyfriend had invited him to come on a three week holiday with them and the kids to Ireland he had thought it would be a great chance to catch up with his children and a good solid break from the stresses of his job. He could look after the kids while Amy and Tim enjoyed a few romantic days and nights out. He knew he was there as a baby sitter but he didn't care. He wanted to spend time with his kids.

He'd put in the last of the year before's holidays that he hadn't taken even though they shouldn't have counted and a few days from his current allowance, Tony had insisted that he deserved it and told him to enjoy himself.

They were staying in a big house that belongs to some relative of Tim's who has gone to Moscow for a few months on business. She had been offering the house out to anyone who wanted it. It was lovely, big spacious but lived in. There's no question of the kids having to keep their hands behind their backs as they walk in case the break anything. It was a family home and could be treated as one, within reason.

"Look at the horses." Leah says pointing to the cliff top where he can see seven or eight horses cantering along. He had seen them a few times. There was a horse riding centre down the road that they had passed on the way in. "Daddy." She wanted something, she only called him that when she wants something. "Will you take me?"

"Where?"

"Horse riding." She replied. "Claire's got a pony at school, it's pretty and she let me have a go. Mum's been taking me on a Saturday to have lessons."

He can't see the harm in it he still runs it past Amy who thinks it's a wonderful idea but is a little cautious because Leah has only had a few weeks of lessons, so tells him to make sure that the instructor knows that.

He borrows the car and drives down to the stable yard which is part of a big complex. He looks around for someone to ask about lessons or to send him in the right direction of the person he needs to talk to.

"Can I help you?" He turns to see the most gorgeous man he has ever laid his eyes on. White shirt, dirt streaked, skin tight jeans leaving nothing to the imagination, heavy boots… Tall, broad shoulders, trim waist, powerful legs, moustache which isn't his normal thing but it suits this man. The man raises his eyebrows at him and he realises he's been so busy checking him out he'd forgotten to speak.

"Erm." He has to remember why he's here, he needs to get a grip. "I'm looking for someone to ride, erm talk about riding with." He blushes. "It's for my daughter."

"You can talk to me. I run the stables. Brendan Brady." He takes the hand the man offers.

"Ste. Ste Hay." He replies and realises that still holding the man's hand even though they've shook. He drops it and shifts awkwardly.

"Come into my office. I'll see what I can do for you." He follows Brendan across the yard, taking in the stone stables leading up to an arch way that he can't quite see into from his angle and the horses with the heads over the doors. There are a couple of women knocking around carrying saddles and bridles, all in skin tight jodhpurs and little tops, pony tails, a few others with t-shirts, one has a horse out of it's stable with barely there vest top, her boobs are nearly falling out as a tall blonde man is standing to the side talking, or rather flirting outrageously with her.

"Walker I'm paying you to shoe my horses not chat up Ann." Brendan calls.

"Sorry Brendan." He sounds anything but even though it does prompt him to pick up the horses foot and place is on a stand and start filing.

Brendan leads him to a small building at the end of the stable block and holds the door while he steps inside. It's pretty poorly lit compared to the bright sunshine outside. There is a large desk with a computer to the side. Photographs all over the walls of horses and various people, he recognises Brendan in a few of them. It's almost like a chart of his life…

"You weren't born with a moustache then." His mouth, honest to god it should be sealed for his own good.

"No." Brendan sounds amused.

He turns from the photographs to find Brendan watching him sat in a big leather but battered looking chair.

"So? I'm a busy man Mr Hay."

"God sorry. Yeah Leah, my daughter wanted to do a bit of riding. We're over here on holiday and she saw the horses this morning. She hasn't done much so I was hoping that you'd offer something for a beginner."

"We've got the facilities of all abilities. I usually like to start them off in the arena to assess their abilities. Was she looking to go out on a trail?"

"I dunno. I haven't got a clue about all this me."

"Why don't you bring her down later today? Say three. My sister Cheryl will be available to do a lesson then. Half an hour is twenty euro's, and hour thirty."

"Which do you think?" He really doesn't know. He would go for the cheaper option but he's not sure how long Leah's normal lessons are and if it's usually an hour she's going to be disappointed.

"An hour means we can take it slower and if she gets sick of it then she can help brush down and put the pony away."

"Alright then. You want me to pay now or later?"

"If you pay a ten euro deposit now it'll grantee the hour."

"Cool." He hands the money over. "Thanks."

"No trouble Steven."

"Been ages since anyone's called me that only Ames when she's in one. Anyway thanks Mr Brady I'll see you later."

"Brendan."

"Yeah." It's like he's stuck. He's meant to be leaving but he can't take his eyes off him. He shakes himself and smiles as he makes his way out.

Leah is beyond excited as he pulls into the yard with her. He parks to the side where there are other cars are.

"Look at that one it's so big and pretty." She beams pointing to one of the horses out in the field.

A blond woman, with bouncy hair walks across and introduces herself as Cheryl. She's bubbly and quite loud as she leads them across the yard and into a building directly across from the one Brendan had taken him into early on. He can't help but look in that direction, he tries to make out through the window if Brendan's in there but Leah tugs on his hand and he's lead into a big room that smells musty.

"Do you know your hat size sweetheart?" Cheryl is asking Leah. "We normally have a couple knocking around, they're all in good condition. Most people bring their own with us doing riding holidays. Have you signed all the paperwork?"

"No not yet." Amy had warned him that he would have to sign a few things to say that he wasn't going to sue them if an accident happened, that he was aware that riding was dangerous and he understood that not all circumstances could be accounted for.

"If you go over to the office," she points to where Brendan had taken him. "Give a knock our Bren will sort it out while I get this young lady a hat." She smiles at Leah who is looking around.

He walks over careful to stay out of the way of the horses and rider's coming back in.

"Hey good looking back so soon." He looks up at the woman, Ann who has pulled her horse up, she swings her leg over and pops to the ground.

He smiles and walks around her to get to office. Knocks.

"Come in."

Brendan stands very close to him as he lays the documents out on the desk and explains everything to him. He trails his finger over the pages, Brendan's hand catches his as he points to where he should sign. He dares a look up and Brendan is staring at him, he licks at his bottom lip and Brendan's eyes follow the movement.

"See something you like?" Brendan asks. He's about to do something stupid, he's about to step forward and closer and kiss him but Cheryl comes in with Leah and Brendan steps back.

"Everything sorted?" Cheryl asks.

"Yeah, good to go. You using Murphy?" Brendan asks as he drops into the leather seat, his eyes still on Ste.

"Yep." Cheryl replies. "Come on then let's get you started."

Cheryl tells him to take a seat on a couple of half barrels to the side as he's staying for the lesson. He sits and watches as Cheryl put Leah through her paces. She looks happy, confident on a white pony that she looks a little too small for. The hour is over quickly. He gives the money to Cheryl.

"She's good enough to go out with one of the starter groups if she was looking to go out along the head land. It's not very far and we only walk with that group. I'd keep her with Murphy, he's as quiet as a mouse, bombproof, well as bombproof as any animal ever is."

Leah pleads with him to be allowed. But she doesn't need to.

"What time?"

"Not the normal question usually it's how much?" Cheryl jokes. "Nine in the morning every day. If there isn't anyone else I'll still take her out."

He agrees.

Tim thinks it's wonderful and reminisces about the time he had spent here riding when he was young. He puts it down to enthusiasm on finding something that he could possibly share with Leah. He doesn't mind. Tim's a part of her life and he wants her happy and he has no interest in horses.

He sits through dinner barely eating anything all the while thinking about Brendan. The muscles he had seen, the feel of him being a bit too close in the office. He excuses himself and goes up stairs.

He stands under the shower and can't help but touch himself. Imagine what Brendan would feel like, how his muscles would feel under his hands, how his moustache would feel on his mouth, on his skin. How he would look naked. How his large hands would feel around his waist, over his chest, he runs his hands over his torso, tweaking a nipple imagining Brendan's mouth nipping. He imagines Brendan dropping to his knees and sucking his cock. What that man would look like naked on his knees soaking wet with his cock in his mouth. He comes hard into his fist. Fuck, he wants him. He runs a finger over his hole. He wants to know what it feels like to have Brendan bending him over his desk and pushing his cock into him…

He needs to calm himself the hell down.

He's only met the bloke twice and even though he's fairly sure that Brendan's attracted to him he doesn't even know if that's just his imagination and Brendan has no sense of personal space. Brendan's surrounded by women in tight clothing, he could have his pick of any of them… He doesn't want to think about that. He doesn't want to think about not being able to have Brendan. He has a want, bordering on need to have him.

It's never been that powerful for him before. He's had plenty of boyfriends but he's never wanted any of them the way he wants Brendan.

He takes Leah down to the stables at quarter to nine. Cheryl's leading horses in from the field she smiles and greets them. She ties the two horses up to the outside of the stable and hands Leah a brush and asking her if she would like to clean Murphy up for their ride.

It's a cooler day, fresher. There's a bit of a strong wind which keeps picking up every so often. He shivers in his hoodie.

"Go get yourself a tea love… in the tack room." He looks blankly at her. She smiles warmly. "That room we were in yesterday where I got Leah's hat from. I'll let you know when we're heading off. You can go home if you like and pick her up at eleven..." He's struck with indecision, there's no point in staying, but at the same time if he stays he might see Brendan. "Go get that tea you look like you're freezing."

He does as he's told.

Ann he recalls her name as makes him a cup while another girl moans that it's only to get out of cleaning tack.

"That you're little girl?" Ann asks bluntly.

He nods as he adds his sugar.

"You're not mute are you?"

"No." He replies.

"Don't talk much do you?"

"You talk enough for everyone Ann." Brendan says as he walks in. "Are you going to ride Jack today?"

"Bit windy, you know what he's like when it's windy. I'd rather not." Ann replies, hesitant.

"I'll ride him in the arena." Brendan states. "How are you today Steven?"

"Alright. Just brought Leah down, she's going out with Cheryl."

Brendan nods, makes a soft grunt, then strides across the room gathering a saddle and bridle from it's stand then walks straight back out.

"You coming?" The girl asks.

"Give him time to get him tacked up and into the arena." Ann states shaking her head. "Where were we… Ah yes you were about to tell me everything about yourself Steven."

"It's Ste." He corrects. There's a glint in Ann's eyes that he doesn't understand, she smiles like a cat that got the cream which makes even less sense. "What brings you to the Emerald isle?"

"I'm on holiday with my kids, their mother and her boyfriend."

"So you're not with Leah's mother?" He feels like he's at the Spanish inquisition the pressure from Ann's gaze on him.

"No. We split up years ago."

"And why was that?"

"You're very forward."

"Only way to find out what you want to know." Oh. Shit. Ann fancies him, it's the only explanation that makes sense.

"I'm gay."

"You are, wonderful." She beams. Not the reaction he was expecting. "What's your type?"

He's lost and she's obviously off her tits.

"Ann." The girl nudges Ann and points to the window. He frowns and looks out in time to see Brendan leading a huge impressive looking horse past.

"Come on then…" They both put down the leather they were working on. "You coming?" She asks him.

"Where?"

"To see a master at work." She replies grabbing his arm.

Cheryl and Ann nearly collide as he's lead outside.

"Taking him to see our Bren?" Cheryl asks. "We're heading off."

He shrugs Ann off to go and check that Leah's happy and she still wants to go. To which he gets a beaming smile and Leah telling Cheryl to hurry up. Cheryl laughs.

"Leah you behave yourself alright? Cheryl is like a teacher, you've got to be respectful yeah?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Good girl. Enjoy yourself."

"I'll take good care of her don't worry." Cheryl says as she joins them. She helps Leah up into the saddle and makes sure she's all set before mounting her own horse off a plastic block.

"Bye Dad." Leah waves then gathers her reins.

"Come on, we're missing the show." Ann practically drags him across the yard and up to the arena. Where he can see Brendan riding the impressive horse around. There is a bank of grass about eight foot high all the way around the sides except for a break which leads to the gate to enter. The bank acts as a wind break and he doesn't feel as cold. Ann pulls him down onto a barrel and keeps her arm around his.

He watches as Brendan turns the horse and has it working in all different speeds around the arena. He looks amazing in control of the mass of muscle which has a grace and beauty about it even as it snorts as it passes.

"See how soft his hands are on the reins…" Ann says. He hasn't got a clue. "Tiny little squeeze with his legs and see, the control is ridiculous." Brendan's got the horse going sideways up the side of the arena in a straight line.

Ann must catch on that he hasn't got a clue.

"He's doing flat work, it's all about getting the horse to listen and respond to you. Jack's a Show jumper but Brendan has him doing Dressage to medium… Oh sorry. Jack usually jumps big bright coloured fences." He saw some of the Olympics, Leah insisted on watching it. "But to be good at that they've got to be balanced, all this on the ground is where it's built from. Getting a horse to be responsive, to get them to listen, trust you. All these movements he's doing aren't really required but Brendan likes to keep Jack fresh for competition, doesn't like to jump too much in case he gets stale."

"Brendan competes?"

"Yeah all over Ireland. I'm his head groom." Ann says beaming with pride. Apparently that's a good thing.

He watches Brendan for a while, can't take his eyes off him…

"Have you got a boyfriend?" Ann asks bluntly.

He shakes himself to turn his attention back to her.

"No." He'd spilt up with Ben months ago.

"What do you do? For a job?"

"I'm a chef." Sous chef, at a small restaurant he's about to say but she cuts him off.

"A chef." Ann smiles brightly.

"Why doesn't he wear a hat?" He asks. Brendan hasn't got a hat on, he thought you always had to wear on, it's a long way down.

"Doesn't ride with one in the arena. Bitches like mad if any of us do it but he's the boss so he can do as he likes." Ann replies.

"Ann stop boring young Steven and give Jack his rub down." Brendan calls from the gate which the other girl is about to open. He watches Brendan swing his legs over and lands, he hands the reins to Ann who leads the horse down and away towards the stables. It goes sideways a bit and looks like it's acting up but Ann keeps walking. The other girl follows.

"Dead impressive." He comments.

"You didn't know what you were watching did you?" Brendan states he doesn't sound annoyed, he sounds amused.

"Nope. But it looked good." He replies, shivering as the wind catches him.

"Let's get you inside, you look like you could get blown away." Brendan says. Electric runs up his spine as Brendan places his hand gently on his lower back to guide him back down to the yard. "Make me a coffee, strong, milk, three sugars, I've got to talk to Ann... I'll be back in a minute." He watches as Brendan strides away. He can't take his eyes off his arse. He blushes as Brendan glances over his shoulder and he opens the door and steps into the office which is much warmer than the tack room was.

The kettles in the far corner along with a few mugs. He sits in Brendan's leather chair as he waits for the kettle to boil. He can see Brendan and Ann talking as she takes off Jack's tack. The kettle clicks and he makes himself a coffee while he's making Brendan's. He sits back in the chair with the mug warming his hands.

"Make yourself at home." Brendan says, quirking his brow at him as he enters.

"Sorry." He jumps up but saves himself from spilling any coffee.

"Sit yourself down." Brendan smiles and shakes his head. He goes to the kettle and picks up his coffee. "How long are you in Ireland for?"

"Couple of weeks why?"

"Just wondering how much money I'm going to be getting off you." Brendan replies, he's joking he thinks. Brendan sits on the edge of the desk leaning across the desk to place his mug down on a coaster. The black jumper he has on rides up a little and he gets his first tiny peek at what is promised, pale skin hint of a treasure trail, lean muscle, he wants to run his tongue straight across the flesh… He swallows as Brendan sits back up... His thighs… He could run his hands straight up the thinning material, it wouldn't take much to tear it... He needs to get a grip he chastises himself.

"How much do I owe for today?" He looks around the office for something to hold his attention.

"Fifty euro's." Brendan replies, rough voice, lower than it should be.

He licks his lips and looks out to the yard.

"Nice set up you've got." He says trying to start a conversation. "Don't know much about it but Leah says it's the best she's seen." He should really shut up. His daughter thinks it's nice. He really needs to think before he speaks. "You always been into horse riding?"

"Since I was small, my Dad was a race horse trainer." Brendan replies.

"I can never win anything on the Grand National."

Brendan laughs gruffly. "You're a funny little thing aren't you."

"Er what does that mean?" He hates being patronised, even the smallest hint sets him off. "Thanks for the coffee." He stands. Brendan might be fucking gorgeous but he's got the feeling that he's also a bit of a knob.

"Steven wait." Brendan catches his wrist and pulls a little before he can get fully around him.

He trips on a loose bit of carpet ends up practically falling onto him. One hand on his thigh the other on his chest. Brendan's thighs bracketing his legs. If he looks up and he's not going to be able to stop himself. Brendan still has a hand on his wrist and the other comes up and touches his chin pushing it up. He can feel Brendan's heart beat under his fingers, the heave of his chest. His pupils are black. If he's got this wrong he's going to be so embarrassed but he wants it and there's nothing to say that he can't have it yet. He leans forward and catches Brendan bottom lip kissing it then pulls back, this is damage limitation, he's got this wrong… Brendan's slips to the back of his neck and pulls him back in to a bruising kiss that has his blood singing, he pushes himself further into Brendan's body, let's himself get lost in the swirl of tongues. He gets his hands on the hem of Brendan's jumper and pulls it up. He doesn't want to break the kiss but he wants his hands on skin. Brendan breaks first and pulls the jumper over his head chucking it down…

So much skin, dusting of hair across his chest… His mouth waters as he trails a hand across the hard muscle… Christ, he wants him… Brendan pulls his hoodie and t-shirt over his head so quickly his head spins… He's pushed back against the wall Brendan's hands trailing down his sides, to his waistband, Brendan kisses him hard as he stoves his hand down and around his cock, he moans into Brendan's mouth at the contact…

"Fuck." He mutters into Brendan collar bone as he starts to work his cock, he's panting and moving his hips, thrusting into Brendan's hand, he groans a sigh, it's what he wants but he wants much more… He gathers what's left of his wits and reaches for the button on Brendan's jeans, pressing a little lower, yeah Brendan's hard, he un zips him and it takes a huge effort to get the jeans down while Brendan's hands still moving on his cock, slower, less attentive, Brendan's breath is caught in his throat as Ste pulls his cock free from the confines of his underwear. Long, thick, just what was promised through those jeans. He kisses Brendan then drops to his knees, looks up at Brendan for any reluctance, finds none… He licks at the head, tastes pre-com, he wants to taste more he groans and flattens his tongue to gather as much as he can. Brendan jerks, he looks up again and Brendan groans, he runs a thumb along his bottom lip stretched around his thick cock, he nods ever so slightly and Brendan gently thrusts, long and slow forward into his mouth he works his tongue as best he can until he has to concentrate on relaxing his throat, tears form in his eyes at the stretch, he swallows and Brendan pulls back and stops moving, he grips the base of Brendan's cock and sucks hard. He puts everything into it. Rolling his tongue, sucking, he's had a taste now he wants to full thing.

"Brendan." He jerks back, Brendan's cock falling loose.

"For fucks sake Ann." Brendan growls.

"Oh sorry." The door shuts. "Just to let you know Cheryl's back."

He should really go, but he hasn't got what he wanted yet. He takes Brendan's cock back into his mouth and grabs at his arse to encourage him.

"Fucking... Jesus… I'm gunna come." Brendan warns a second before he is. He swallows it all down, licks Brendan clean.

Brendan tucks himself away. "Aren't you a find? Christ." Brendan pulls him into another filthy kiss.

"Brendan." Ann states loudly through the door.

"Two seconds. Keep her busy." Brendan growls dropping to his knees. "Better make it quick." Brendan says as he licks his lips then swallows his cock to the root, he tenses. If getting to see what he had been imagining, Brendan on his knee's for him wasn't enough the feel certainly was. He tenses, arching his back and thrusts into Brendan's hot mouth. "Fuck." He pants, his legs feel like jelly, he's tingling all over. Brendan gently pulls his clothes back into position, smiling at him as he gets the hoody back down over his head then kiss' him.

Ann pulls the door open then quickly pushes it shut.

"Will you put him down?" Ann growls and stamps her foot.

"Keep talking and I'll fire you." Brendan replies then kisses him again, gently.

"You most certainly will not…"

"Alright keep your hair on." He says reaching down, picking up Brendan's jumper before dropping it into his waiting hands. Brendan pulls it back on, he watches as the material covers his skin. He really should leave that off…

"Dad?" Leah. Shit.

He rushes past Ann opening the door and stepping back out into the cold. The office felt like a furnace compared to outside. He shivers.

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yes."

"She was good as gold."

"Thanks Cheryl." He hands her the money from his wallet. He had been too distracted before. He glances into the office to see Brendan looking back.

"Can I come again tomorrow?" He winces slightly. He can't really afford to have Leah riding every day even as an excuse to be at the yard, it'll end up costing him a fortune.

"She can help out around the yard in exchange for the ride if you like? She's seriously keen and there's always something that she can be doing."

"Please Dad."

"I'll have to speak to your Mam, she wanted to do a few day trips..."

"Well let me know, there's always someone around here during the day." Cheryl says.

He nods. He looks back into the office, he can't see Brendan. He nods thanking Cheryl again. Leah pulls on his arm.

"I want to tell Mum about my ride." Leah says, she itching to go home. He's itching to go back into the office and say goodbye, or something. Anything. It's a bit awkward leaving like he is.

"Better get her home looks like rain." Cheryl says.

He lets Leah pull him to the car.

It rains all afternoon, so he plays video games with Lucas since he can't play football in the rain. Amy doesn't want Lucas catching cold. Every so often he drifts off back into that office, gets lost in the feel of Brendan, the taste, the sound… Lucas keeps whining at him about not paying attention. Tim takes over when his own son says he's crap and he wants to play against someone who doesn't keep dying so easily.

"You're all over the place today." Amy says putting a cup of tea down in front of him.

"Yeah sorry." He replies.

"I don't need an apology Ste." She states. "There's nothing wrong is there? You are still alright with Tim?"

"Yeah, he's alright…" Tim's a bit boring but if that's the worst of what he can dislike about him then he can put up with it. Besides Amy's the one that's got to live with him.

"It's important to me that you two get along. I know it's hard seeing him with Leah and Lucas but he's not trying to be their Dad, you're their Dad and he knows how important that is."

"It's not Tim." He states.

"Then what is it?"

He sighs.

"I met someone."

"What? Who? Where?" She's asks full of excitement.

"Calm down."

"When? We're in the middle of nowhere."

"He's the owner of the stables."

"Is he nice?"

Nice? He doesn't really know him that well but nice possibly isn't how he'd describe him.

"Yeah, he's alright." Fucking amazing actually… But he doesn't know that for sure he only knows that he really wants to find out.

"Arrr you really like him." She coo's slightly.

"Yeah." He does. He's not going to lie.

"So when are you seeing him again?"

"Suppose when I take Leah down for another lesson." He shrugs. He realised half way back to the house he hadn't given Brendan his number.

"That's no good." Amy says. "How are you meant to get to know each other like that?" They possibly already know too much about each other, all things that matter but perhaps not as much as other things like actually liking who each other are not just each other's bodies.

He shrugs.

"I haven't got his number."

"You are going down there and you're asking him out."

"No way." He's not doing it.

"Oh yes you are. Now."

"Amy."

"Actually, no not right now. Go upstairs and get changed."

"Amy."

"It's been ages since you've actually liked someone. It'll do you good and bit of holiday romance."

"What if he turns me down?" He asks.

"You won't know if you don't ask. Now move. Jeans not tracksuit bottoms." She adds pushing him up the stairs. He would argue, he really would be he really wants to know himself… He's had a taste and from what had happened he's fairly confident that Brendan will happily fuck him.

Nerves jangle in his stomach as he looks through his clothes. He hasn't brought anything really decent with him. It was meant to be three weeks away with the kids, he was not planning on meeting anyone and he certainly hadn't thought about going on the pull.

He goes for his nicest pair of Jeans which also happen to be his tightest and a plain black t-shirt. He hasn't got a jacket other than his water proof which isn't sexy and his hoodie isn't smart enough, although Brendan's had him half naked so he already knows most of what he's getting…

He gels his hair a bit, not that it'll matter too much in this weather and makes his way downstairs to where Amy is waiting.

"Very nice." She says kissing him on the cheek and pressing the car keys into his hands.

It's barely four in the afternoon. Cheryl said there was always someone around.

He pauses. Maybe this is a bad idea.

"Ste. Go and find out." Amy states. "And run to the car or your hair will be ruined."

The yard is deserted from what he can see when he gets there. He's half tempted to just drive straight back, but something makes him get out and go into the yard. He tries the office but it's locked, the tack rooms padlocked. He's drenched and the wind is cutting straight through him.

"Love what are you doing here?" Cheryl pops her head up from one of the stables holding what looks like a blanket.

"I was… Erm…" He's stuck he doesn't know what to say.

"He's here to cheer up that miserable brother of yours." Ann shouts as she running down the yard with a couple of hay nets slung over her shoulder, rain coat and hat on. She drops them to the floor, taking one into a stable, disappearing then reappearing moving to the next stable.

"Brendan?" Cheryl frowns at him. Then something seems to click. "Oh." She smiles. "He's in the hay shed."

"Where's that?" He asks.

"Come with me." Ann grabs his hand and he's forced to run to keep up as she leads him through a stone arch way and into another smaller yard, another few stables he hadn't seen before and in through a small door into a big building where he spots Brendan filling hay nets. There's a line of ten already filled.

"How many more?" Brendan asks.

"Three and is everyone fed this time round." Ann replies. "Look what I found. Now you can stop being stroppy." She picks up three from the line and disappears off.

"Hi." He kind of waves.

"Jesus you must be freezing." Brendan says walking forward pulling off his jacket and wrapping it around him. "What are you doing here Steven?"

"Came to see you." His teeth are chattering.

Brendan rubs his hands up and down his arms.

"Come on lets get you dry." Brendan says and walks him out of the hay shed back into the pouring rain.

"You're getting wet."

"Yeah but there's more meat on my bones, cold doesn't affect me as much as you scrawny fellows." Brendan smiling.

"Scrawny?!" He pushes Brendan hard.

"Ah some strength in those chicken arms then." Brendan laughs. "The house is just through here." He leads him through another arch into a small courtyard. Where there are various doors with numbers on and porches over them. He follows to a larger porch that has a door unlike the others he steps inside, there are boots lining the sides. Brendan pulls his boots off and drops them before opening another door.

"Should I?" He asks, his shoes are soaking.

"Yeah there's a radiator they'll dry out alright in here." He toes them off. His socks are soaking. "And those." He takes them off and stands on the mat. Brendan pushes at the other door which leads into a big kitchen. He finds himself still as he looks around at the white surfaces and black counter tops. The top of the line cooker. It's a big contrast to the outside which looks old. He had expected a dark, tiny little rooms but this is spacious and modern.

There's a lounge area after the far counter which marks the end of the kitchen. Two big cream sofa's. A TV, a Coffee table in the middle. All of which are immaculate.

Brendan opens a door to the side and steps in coming back with a towel and handing it to him while slipping the jacket off his shoulders.

"Come on we'll find you something to wear." Brendan says leading him up the steep stairs to the side, it a tight spiral leading to a door which Brendan opens.

Wow… The room is huge. There's a massive double bed, black and grey covers. Gym equipment to the corner. An en suite that he can see as the doors open. The carpet is light grey almost silver. The walls are a mix of white, black and red. The red is behind the head board. Brendan pulls open a mirrored wardrobe which gives him a chance to see just how bad he looks. He's shaking and his hair is all over. A drowned rat. He wraps his arms around himself.

"Here." Brendan walks back over holding a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. "Bathrooms in there, if you know… Privacy."

"Think we're a bit passed that but thanks." He pulls his soggy t-shirt over his head.

"Christ." Brendan mutters, he barely hears him.

"What?" Brendan's staring at him or rather his torso.

Brendan cocks his head. Goes to say something but doesn't.

He frowns.

"What?"

"Just you're…"

"I'm what?"

"Fucking gorgeous." Brendan states rubbing at the back of his head. "And freezing so put some clothes on before you catch cold."

"You could always warm me up."

"Sleeping with a popsicle is not on my to-do list." Brendan replies. "Later."

"That a promise?"

"Guarantee."

"Brendan!" Cheryl shouts.

He pulls the too big t-shirt over his head.

"Brady you better not be screwing him already." Ann.

Brendan sighs and shakes his head.

"Women." He mutters. "We'll be down in a second." He calls.

He drops his Jeans, his boxers aren't too wet so he leaves them on, he doesn't want to be going around commando in Brendan joggers anyway. He pulls them on. They're too big on him as well, he has to tie the draw string.

"Here." Brendan throws him a pair of socks which is bit of a relief since he had half a mind on how he wasn't going to trip over the too long jogging bottoms. He stuff the extra material into the socks. He looks like a proper idiot but at least he's warmer.

Brendan is right in front of him, a predatory look on his face.

He licks his lips and juts his chin.

"You're in my clothes." Brendan says slowly.

"Which you gave to me." He replies.

Brendan grips his waist and pulls him into a demanding, claiming kiss which lights up his insides.

"Brady!" Ann shouts.

"I'm going to kill her." Brendan mutters into his mouth as he breaks the kiss. "Come on or she'll come up."

He follows Brendan down the stairs. Cheryl is in the kitchen with ingredients scattered around. Ann is sat watching the TV towelling her hair dry.

"Ste love sit down, tea? Coffee?" Cheryl asks.

"I'm fine thanks." He sits on the sofa across from Ann who winks at him. Brendan drops down next to him.

"Oh fine you two sit there while I slave over dinner." Cheryl huffs.

"Told you before Chez ready meals are fine." Brendan states.

"You two might not care about all those additives but I'm trying to eat healthy." Cheryl replies.

"Shame you can't cook isn't it." Ann states pull a draw from the coffee table and picking a nail file out.

"I can cook." Cheryl protests. "You just don't appreciate my favour combinations."

"Burnt never tastes good." Ann smirks.

"I'll help." He volunteers anything to stop the sniping.

"No Ste love you're a guest."

"He's a chef let him." Ann states firmly.

"You're a chef?" Brendan asks.

"Yeah."

He stands up and moves into the kitchen. He can tell that Cheryl hasn't got a clue what she wants to make.

"What are you making?" He asks.

"Vegetable's with pasta."

"Meat Chez. I've told you before, leave rabbit food for rabbits." Brendan grumbles as he looks over the back of the sofa.

"There's some prawn in the fridge." Ann pipes up.

"Where's the fridge?" He asks because he'd like to see just what he has to work with.

Cheryl pulls a cupboard which is the fridge. He drops down. It's fully loaded with all sorts. They certainly aren't going to starve any time soon.

"The freezers in the utility room." Cheryl points to where Brendan had gotten the towel from. She fusses around, at her first attempt at chopping an onion he knows that for all the will in the world she hasn't got any skills to back it up.

"Cheryl why don't you sit down."

"Can't leave you to do it all alone, you won't get any help off them two."

"Seriously Cheryl." Time for the big guns. "You've helped our Leah out so much it's the least I can do honestly."

"If you're sure…"

"For god's sake Chez leave the boy alone. He wants to cook let him."

"Boy?" He sasses.

"Ignore him. He's hungry." Cheryl states.

"We all are and you're stopping him getting on." Ann says.

It doesn't take long for him to make a very basic, but still pretty tasty is he does say so himself prawn, vegetable pasta dish with a tomato and basil sauce to bring it all together.

He plates up.

"Done." He states and they all come and get a plate, Ann handing out cutlery at the draw. He leaves his own to the side, a smaller portion. He picks up his plate and sits back on the sofa since that's where they are all eating.

"Brendan I swear to god you are keeping him." Ann states deadly serious. "You fuck it up and I'll kill you."

"It's amazing love. Thank you." Cheryl beams at him.

Brendan doesn't say anything but is eating with enthusiasm so he assumes he likes it too.

He eats his quietly, as a conversation starts up about some horse or other. Cheryl and Ann discussing a performance programme or something.

"You finished?" Brendan asks. He nods and Brendan takes his plate.

He realises there's a bit of a routine. Cheryl cooks, Brendan clears the plates, the pans and Ann puts them in the dishwasher and wipes down the surfaces. The conversation continues on with Brendan now involved.

"Sorry love, it's the problem with living and working on a yard. Horses are the main topic of conversation." Cheryl says. "Beer?"

He nods and Cheryl brings him one over.

"I'm going to do the long round." Brendan states. He frowns. "I'm going to make sure that the horses in the bottom paddocks are alright." Brendan explains. Then looks at Ann and Cheryl. "I expect him here and in one piece when I get back."

"And what are they going to do to me like?" He quite likes Cheryl and even though Ann is forward she seems fun enough.

"We'll turn you straight." Ann smiles.

"Good luck with that." He replies.

"Oooo a challenge."

"Ann." Brendan says. "Play nice."

She blows him a kiss which has Brendan shaking his head before he walks out.

He takes a sip of his beer and wonders just how he is sitting in the living room of a bloke he's just met, who he's sucked off and had the favour returned, feeling like he's at home, comfortable.

"I forgot to ask what did you come down here for love? Sorry we just got caught up."

"I came to ask Brendan out." He replies honestly.

"Told you." Ann states.

"You did not." Cheryl.

"Are you intentions honourable?" Ann asks and he doesn't know if she's serious or not.

"Like you know anything about honour." Cheryl replies as she gets up and goes into the kitchen, she comes back with two glasses and a bottle of wine.

"So?" Ann presses.

"I just want to ask him for drink or something." He replies hoping that's alright.

"Arrr bless you sweetheart, you're blushing… So where are you from?"

"Chester, well a little village called Hollyoaks." He's back on trial.

"You said kids…"

"Leah and Lucas."

"Boy and girl very nice. Brendan's got two boys."

Brendan's a father. Of course he doesn't know that he doesn't know anything about him really.

"They're with their bitch of a mother in Dublin."

"Eileen isn't a bitch she just…"

"She's a bitch Cheryl." Ann states firmly. "She's being arsey about custody. Not that Brendan has much time you know with the stables and competitions. But he still wants to see them."

By the time Brendan returns he finds out that he hadn't come out as gay until he was 28. That Eileen had caught him in bed with one of the stable hands and hadn't been very happy as he could imagine. That the house and stables were originally their fathers, his old racing yard which Cheryl decided to run for riding holidays to help Brendan with his dreams of competing at the top level. That Ann had met Brendan while he was competing at the horse of the year show in England and had asked for a job on his yard. She had been working for him for three years.

"You're still here." Brendan states.

"Where else would I be?" He asks.

Brendan shakes his head. "Just surprised, these two are a handful."

"I'm going for a bath. I'll check the stables at ten." Ann states and heads through a set of doors next to the kitchen into a office or study and he hears her on stairs.

"I'm going to ring Nate." Cheryl states. "He's my boyfriend, he's away at the minuet he's a horse trader. His parents have an estate not too far from here."

"Yeah, yeah night Chez." Brendan ushers her out.

His phone vibrates in his pocket. A text from Amy asking how it's going… If he's coming home more like.

"Important?" Brendan asks sitting down next to him.

"Just Ames wondering where I am." He replies. "I came down here…" He breathes. "Would you like to go out with me? For a drink or a meal? Something?"

"You've cooked, how about we watch a film?"

He had meant going out, like out of the house.

"You want to?" Brendan asks.

"I meant like a date."

"I know what you meant Steven and I will take you anywhere you want to go, but it's pouring with rain and I have a five am start tomorrow so a film is what I've got to offer."

He nods and texts Amy that's he's out all night and gets and instant reply of a big smilie. He shakes his head.

"I've got a better collection upstairs." Brendan states, standing up.

"Are you trying to get me into bed with you?"

"It working?"

"I'm not objecting."

Brendan smiles at him and takes his hand pulling him to his feet.

He lies on top of the covers as Brendan faffs around with the DVD player.

"Not that bothered by the film." He says. He's not here to watch a film he's here to get what he's wanted since he first clapped eyes on Brendan Brady.

"Good." Brendan states and instantly strides across the room and crawls up over him, knees bracketing his legs, hands either side of his head. "Didn't know how much longer I could go…" He cuts him off by wrapping his hand around his neck and pulls his mouth down onto his.

He could get addicted to this. The feel of him, the desperation, the need, the want that's pouring out of both of them and into the other. He groans and writhes.

Brendan pulls his shirt over his head and he licks his lips.

"Careful you'll have me thinking you only want me for my body… Wouldn't blame you." Cocky. Arrogance has never really done anything for him but he's not arguing with Brendan on the body front… He does wants it.

"Clothes off." Brendan demands. Pulling his own clothes off and getting off Ste to reach into a draw at the side of the bed. His stomach flips when he sees the condom and lube dropped onto the bed. He rids himself of the last of Brendan's clothes and throws his boxers down on top of the pile and waits for judgement.

Brendan groans low in his throat.

"Look at you." He says as he runs his hands up his torso with care, a gentle moment that isn't getting him what he wants. Brendan's just as hard as he is, he leans up and kisses Brendan while wrapping his hand around his hard length. "No long drawn out foreplay for you then." Brendan says smiling then he closes his eyes and groans as Ste works the head of his cock.

"Shut up and fuck me." He states. He feels like he's been waiting a life time for this. He doesn't want to wait. It's raw lust that's driving him and he's always listened to it, even if it's sometimes bad for him. But he can't think of a single thing that would be bad about Brendan inside him.

Brendan pins him to the bed by his wrists, he tips back on his hips and wraps his legs around him in retaliation. Brendan kisses him deeply, slowly while working a lubed finger into his hole, he relaxes himself as a second is added, then bucks up when Brendan finds his prostate, he moans encouragement not that Brendan seems to need it as he rubs his fingers over and over the same spot. He pants and clings on to anything within reach whether it's Brendan or bed covers… It's a relief he hears the tear of the condom and the first press of Brendan's cock on his hole. He's open. He wants it, his breath stutters and Brendan kisses him still sliding in, until he stops possibly to give him a second but he doesn't need it. He opens his eyes, he looks so right over him, feels so right inside of him, he reaches a hand down through the sweat on Brendan's back to his arse then pushes at him to get him to move. He doesn't need any more encouragement before he's thrusting into him. He loses himself in it. Hands himself over to Brendan. Concentrates on how good it feels, how good Brendan can make him feel, he's coming apart at the seams, long before Brendan strokes his cock to the same rhythm.

He comes back to his senses with Brendan lying on top of him panting into his collar bone. He shifts a bit, Brendan weighs a lot, he doesn't want him to let go but at the same time he needs him to move over a bit.

Brendan pushes himself up, looks down on him, shakes his head slightly then kisses him softly as he withdraws his cock. He winces a little.

"You're staying." Brendan states tying off the condom and throwing it into the bin at the side. He hands Ste a wet wipe to clean himself up while he wipes the come off his stomach and hands.

He doesn't want to move, but without Brendan's body the chill in the room is uncomfortable. He rolls off the bed, his legs nearly give out on him as he pulls the covers up and he gets under them. Brendan does the same from the other side and pulls him closer, closer still until he's pressed up against his rib cage and Brendan wraps an arm around him, kissing the top of his head.

"You're staying."


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for you reviews and your support.

Sorry I've taken an absolute age to get back to this but I couldn't decide how I was going to get this to where it's going.

I've decided to do the events of the first chapter again from Brendan's POV as a bit of an experiment since I'm usually so strict on writing a story from one character's POV all the way through.

* * *

Brendan sighed at he looked at his schedule. None fucking stop. Fuck it.

"We're skipping Lodge." He states.

"But…"

"We've qualified for Dublin, there's no need to go. Well go to Matt's and tune up the youngsters but I'm having a couple of days off the road. I'm not asking I'm telling."

"You're the boss." Ann replies.

"Yes I am."

He wants to spend a bit of time at home, he hasn't been at home a full week since the snow had made it impossible to travel in March. He wants to spend proper time at the yard without always having an eye on when he's leaving. Lodge was a chance at some prize money but it meant four days away. By the time he knocked off fuel and stabling he'd have to win two of the three big classes, which was more than doable given who he knows will be there but ultimately not enough to make him break from his plans of being at home instead.

It's the life he signed up for, the hours, the hard work with little reward, all for a chance at the big time.

He'd made it through the seriously shite hours, the crap horses, the practical slavery of serving his time under a top rider at their yard while bringing on youngsters, riding the novice courses, building his reputation up until he could get some owners that would trust him with decent horses, picking up rides at unfashionable venues all over the UK on less than talented horses and winning. It took a massive amount of time and commitment and he loved it. He wouldn't be doing it if he didn't.

If he wasn't gay his marriage would have failed anyway. Eileen wanted the money and the glamour but hated the reality of what it took to get those things. He never should have married her but he had thought at the time a woman at home, kids, a family was what he wanted. It was what was expected. It would make him look better.

He'd made it far enough to branch out alone, back on his father's yard, his yard now with a team of horses, a few really talented ones that could be future Grand Prix and he's hoping one of them will be good enough for the World Cup.

There's a knock at the office door.

"Come in."

"Brendan, Ann." Simon Walker. He's practically salivating at Ann. He'd taken one look at her outfit and he had knew Walker was in, as if he needed reminding.

"Coffee?" Ann asks. He rubs at his forehead he can feel the headache from the ridiculous flirting from here. He doesn't know what Ann sees in Walker other than the good looks because the man is a bastard as far as he is concerned. One of the best farrier's he's found but still a bastard.

"Best get on." Walker says looking directly at him. "Box list?"

Brendan hands him the list of stable numbers which need new sets, others just need shoes taken off and put back on because they're not worn out yet. He hands him Cheryls list at the same time since his bills and her's are separate.

"Can you have another look at Diesel's sand crack? It's getting worse again." He states.

"Are you my lovely assistant today?"

"No, Ann will be doing the honours." He grates in reply.

"My day just got even better."

"You promised Cheryl you'd take the advanced group out at one remember." He reminds her. When confronted with Walker's smile she seems to lose half her sense.

Walker steps from the office, Ann watches him go, turns to him.

"You've got to admit he's got a cracking arse." She states.

"Go on, if you can get some money knocked off the bill I'll be impressed."

"Laters." Ann smiles.

He shakes his head. It's too nice to be inside he steps out into the yard. Tries not to glare at the riding holiday girls running around his yard making the place look untidy. Cheryl always lectures him on being welcoming to their guests. If it wasn't for the money they bring in he'd happily chuck the lot off his land.

He sees Thea in the tack room looking through the bit box and wonders in her direction. He stands at the tack room door. Directing her to the bit she's looking for.

"Who's that?" She asks looking over his shoulder.

He turns.

Young. Skinny. Tanned. Beautiful, with a lost look on his face. He doesn't think he's seen anything quite as pretty on his yard before.

He walks out to meet the young man who's now got his back to him. Perfect arse, long legs. Jesus.

"Can I help you?" He asks, hoping he can.

"Erm." The young man turns, on closer inspection he's breath taking. And he's clearly checking him out, even better. "I'm looking for someone to ride, erm talk about riding with." He admits the slip of his tongue is as entertaining as his accent is appealing. "It's for my daughter."

Daughter. Ah. Possibly straight. Maybe he's just seeing what he wants to.

"You can talk to me. I run the stables. Brendan Brady." He introduces himself, taking his mind from all the possibilities this young man could offer and back to business.

"Ste. Ste Hay." His handshake is firm, no limp wrist. He's holding on a little longer than is strictly necessary but he's not going to pull away first. He wants to see how long he can keep touching him before the young man lets go.

"Come into my office. I'll see what I can do for you." He knows what he'd like to do to him.

He watches as the young man studies the photographs he has lining the walls of his office. A little nod to family history that Cheryl had insisted on. She liked to reminisce about the good old days. He'd rather not. She misses Seamus, her doting dad. He doesn't miss him a bit. He was always either out on the gallops, at a race course or blind drunk passed out. Better passed out rather than just drunk. Seamus was a mean drunk, years of black eyes were proof of it.

When he had died he was in England working and Cheryl was still off with him about not going to the funeral.

"You weren't born with a moustache then." Where on Earth is this lad from?

"No."

He sits himself on his leather chair and watches the lad as his eyes scan the photograph.

"So? I'm a busy man Mr Hay." He can't afford to sit there all day and ogle him even if it could well be a great use of his time.

"Who was that?" Ann asks as she comes into the office with Walker's bill. He rolls his eyes at the figure. Credit to her she's got a bit knocked off but it's still nearly six hundred euro's. He writes out the cheque and pulls the one Cheryl had already written out from the file.

"Steven Hay his daughter is coming for a lesson later."

"Pretty." Ann comments watching Steven. "Very nice."

He coughs.

"Ann." He shakes the cheque at her.

She rolls her eyes at him and takes it out.

He finds himself watching for Steven to arrive. He wants to see him, make sure the image he has in his head is as good as the real thing. He's even better than he remembers in the flesh. The image in his mind isn't anywhere near doing Steven justice.

He sees Cheryl take Steven and Leah into the tack room. He seems to have the whole conversation from their previous meeting and every flick and movement seared into his brain.

Ann is bring the advanced group back in.

Steven is heading towards the office he goes around behind the desk and picks up the forms that he needs to sign.

"Come in." He calls as Steven knocks.

He can't help but be drawn to him. He's beautiful, and crying out to be touched. He brushes his hand across his capable fingers a few times, he's trying to be subtle. Fuck, when Steven looks up through his lashes at him and licks his lips all he wants to do is stick his tongue down his throat and get a taste.

"See something you like?" He asks. He has and he wants him. Steven's leaning closer. He needs him to make the first move, needs to make sure that Steven wants it.

"Everything sorted?" Cheryl asks and he pulls away from temptation.

"Yeah, good to go. You using Murphy?" The desk acts as a barrier, stops him.

"Yep." Cheryl replies. "Come on then let's get you started."

He watches through the window for a while before Cheryl takes Steven and his daughter up to arena. He finds himself standing to the side half way up the track looking at Steven as he watches his daughter.

"Knew he was your type." Ann. "Pretty, skinny. You going to put the moves on him?"

"I don't know."

"Yes then."

"I don't even know if he's gay." He replies.

"Please god let him be. If he's not can I go on holiday?" He raises an eyebrow at her. "Well you're a fucking pain in the arse when you don't get what you want."

"Who says I want him?"

"The semi you're sporting. Really those jeans leave nothing to the imagination." It's a good job he likes her honesty and is entertained by her foul mouth most of the time or he'd never put up with her, despite how good she is at her job.

"You said you'd take Jim out for a canter." Ann reminds him.

He nods and turns back down towards the yard. He shouldn't be letting himself get distracted even if Steven is very distracting.

"Brendan's got a crush." He could honest to god kill Ann at times. He doesn't mind admitting it to her but saying something like that while Cheryl's in the room is just going too far.

"Oh who's that then?" As he thought Cheryl takes an immediate interest.

"Ste."

"Leah's dad? He's… A bit young isn't he?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"Just that he's…"

"Too young for you." Ann finishes for her.

"I'm not that old." He grumbles. Although the lad is young. Maybe too young. Too impressionable. Might be clingy, needy, demanding. He's had enough demanding for a life time. Eileen was a nightmare all the time he'd been going out with her. Always wanting to go out, always wanting to be at the big parties never wanting to be home, never appreciating the hard work he had to put in to keep her in all the pricey clothes she demanded. The only thing about their marriage he doesn't regret is his children. Those two were the light of his life.

"He might not be into prime aged cock." Ann states and he throws a pillow at her.

He has a quick shower and climbs into bed. He needs to sleep but he can't seem to settle. He sighs, opens the bedside drawn and squeezes some lube into his hand. He tries to get himself off quickly, let's his mind wonder but purposely keeps it off who he wants to think about… Those lips, he groans. That arse. Fuck it. He imagines Steven riding him. The way his hands would look on those skinny little hips as he watches his cock disappear into tight heat. He imagines Steven would be quiet and tentative, shy, nervous but he can coax him into being vocal… What it sound like. What it would be like to have those eyes on him. What it would be like fucking him…

He comes hard.

"Don't talk much do you?" He catches a conversation as he walks into the tack room notices Steven straight away. Can't help that it shoots thrills through him.

He gives himself a mental slap.

"You talk enough for everyone Ann." He says. "Are you going to ride Jack today?" He wants to ride him but Ann was down to.

"Bit windy, you know what he's like when it's windy. I'd rather not." She hates riding Jack in the wind. Jack's highly strung, the wind sets him off and he can be a real handful. Ann's more than capable of working him but she's small and Jack hasn't got the easiest mouth on him. He tends to respond better to Brendan's longer legs.

"I'll ride him in the arena." He doesn't need the hassle of hacking him out in this wind. Besides there's plenty he can achieve in the arena. "How are you today Steven?" He's aching to have his attention. He just wants it. To have those eyes on him.

"Alright. Just brought Leah down, she's going out with Cheryl."

He wants to ask. He wants to know if Steven's with him on this, that he's gay and available but he's not going to ask, especially not with Ann and Thea there.

He grabs Jack's saddle and bridle.

In the arena there's just him and Jack, listening to him, trying to behave even though the winds got him on his toes.

He sees Ann and Steven sitting together watching him. Steven's eyes on him, he half contemplates showing off a bit but Steven knows nothing about horses so he can't see the point although he gives Ann and Thea a bit of a show with some shoulder-in's down the sides.

He can only imagine what Ann's saying to Steven. It could be nothing, idle chit chat but Ann's never been anything less than direct.

"Ann stop boring young Steven and give Jack his rub down."

"Dead impressive." Steven comments.

He gets a rush of pride that makes no sense.

"You didn't know what you were watching did you?"

"Nope. But it looked good."

The wind picks up and Steven shivers.

"Let's get you inside, you look like you could get blown away." He can't help but put his hand to the base of Steven's back, it just feels natural to do it. Steven doesn't shrug him off so he leaves it there.

"Make me a coffee, strong, milk, three sugars, I've got to talk to Ann... I'll be back in a minute."

"He's single." Ann states as he approaches. "Not with Leah's mum… He's also gay."

"Sure?"

"Yes, he told me when he thought I was chatting him up." She grins.

Steven's sitting in his chair when he enters. It looks right. Somehow someway it just looks right. He finds himself commenting and asking how long Steven's in the country. Explains a bit about the yard originally belonging to Seamus.

"You're a funny little thing aren't you." As soon as he says it he knows he's got Steven pegged wrong. He's no wall flower, no push over. He sees the fire in Steven's eyes the flash of anger, lightening quick and it sends thrills through him. Steven's going to be a challenge.

"Steven wait."

Steven falls into his arms, even knowing he's gay, that he's interested, he needs to be sure so he stop himself doing what every inch of his body is craving him to do. Lean in and kiss him. Steven's unsure, shaky and he's sure he's about to pull away completely when he kisses his lip. His lip tingles at the contact, too fleeting. Steven looks panicked for a moment like he's expecting rejection so he does what he's wanted to do since he first laid eyes on him and pulls the younger man to him and kisses him deep. He expects Steven to cave like so many do but he battles back pushes at him, takes what he can get and offers everything.

He can tell a lot about him just from kissing him. His sweet innocent gentle first kiss marks him as a little insecure, the battle tells him that he really is a challenge and that once he gets permission to do something he's full on. Hands reaching for his jumper. He wants to feel them on his skin. He pulls the jumper off and glows inside at the look of want written all over Steven's face.

Well there's something he wants too. That hoodie off. He's not quite as skinny as he had imagined, the clothes hanging off him had been deceptive, without them he looks stronger, beautiful though undeniably gorgeous, lust filled eyes, demanding kisses. Jesus. He wants to take him apart. See him taking his cock, see him out of his mind with pleasure…

Steven's lust is powerful though, his want, his need comes first and if he wants to drop to his knees and suck him off he's not going to argue.

The look of him there. The feel of his lips, his hot mouth, talented tongue, it's all he can do not to fuck his mouth. He almost loses it when Steven deep throats him but this is the kind of torture that he wants to prolong.

"Brendan."

"For fucks sake Ann."

"Oh sorry." The door shuts. "Just to let you know Cheryl's back."

He thinks that Steven's going to immediately start getting dressed but instead he's back on him. Encouraging him to fuck his mouth. It's too much, the suction, the perfect heat, those lips…

"Fucking... Jesus… I'm gunna come." He warns but Steven doesn't pull back. He swallows, and continues to lick at his over sensitive cock.

The way he looks, the way he feels, the challenge in his eyes, the lust that Steven has for him.

"Aren't you a find? Christ." He needs to taste himself in Steven's mouth.

"Brendan." Ann states loudly through the door.

"Two seconds. Keep her busy." He has to know what Steven cock tastes like. Has to know the feel of his cock in his mouth. Has to see him come. "Better make it quick." He wastes no time, deep throats him and takes pride in the noises he's making, the tiny breathless noises that are seeping out of him.

"Fuck." Christ he would be noisy, he can tell. He knows Steven knows Ann right outside the door and he still doesn't keep quiet. Doesn't seem like he can.

He helps Steven get his clothes back on, least he can do for the lad who looks like his legs aren't quite with him. He's flushed. Beautiful. Captivating. He can't help but kiss him.

Ann pulls the door open then quickly pushes it shut.

"Will you put him down?"

"Keep talking and I'll fire you." He won't, even if this interruption is almost enough.

"You most certainly will not…"

"Alright keep your hair on." Steven says petulantly. Like he's almost as annoyed as Brendan feels for her presence.

"Dad?" He hears Leah and Steven's rushing past Ann and leaving him cold.

Ann looks at him as he straightens his clothes and drops into his chair. Fuck he wants him. That was a taste. Now he needs more.

"Blow jobs in the office, classy as ever." Ann drawls.

"Fuck off." He doesn't need her to tell him that it shouldn't have happened in here. It should have happened somewhere… Better. Somewhere there was no interruption. Somewhere he could enjoy Steven fully, where there was no rush…

"You like him." Ann states gesturing out the window. "Going to see him again?"

He closes his eyes and tries to will her away.

"Got his number?"

"Fuck." He gets up and goes to ask but Steven's already in his car. "Fuck." He slams his fist into the office door.

"Defiantly like him." Ann smiles.

"I would go if I was you." He growls at her.

"Alright you grumpy bastard." She says brushing past. He slams the door shut. He can't believe he hadn't got Steven's number… He slams his hand into the desk. He could never see him again. Fuck.

He stays in the office and flicks through some paperwork, checks a couple of emails. Tries to take his mind off Steven but he can still see him in his minds eye, still hear him, still taste him. It's useless.

His mood plummets further, as the rain starts coming down harder, he barks orders. He needs a couple of the horses in from the field which he makes Thea and Ann do while Cheryl sorts out skipping out the stables. He heads to the hay shed to get started on the hay nets.

He's knows he almost filled enough to feed all the horses that are in and enough for the night feed for them all.

He hears boots running into the shed.

"How many more?" He doesn't bother looking up.

"Three and is everyone fed this time round." Ann states. "Look what I found. Now you can stop being stroppy." She picks up three from the line and disappears off.

"Hi." Steven offers a tiny awkward wave.

Relief flows through him. Steven's here. He'd come back. He's dripping wet, shaking. All he wants to do is wrap him up in his arms.

"Jesus you must be freezing." He takes his jacket off and wraps it around him. "What are you doing here Steven?" He needs to know that he's here for the reasons he wants him to be here.

"Came to see you."

Brendan rubs his hands up and down his arms.

"Come on lets get you dry."

"Here." He walks back over holding a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. "Bathrooms in there, if you know… Privacy." He doesn't want Steven uncomfortable. Doesn't want him thinking he owes him anything. That he needs to do anything.

"Think we're a bit passed that but thanks."

"Christ." He remembers everything right. Just as stunning.

"What?" Steven frowns at him.

He wants to say something ridiculously soft, but he fights against himself.

"What?" Steven looks wary.

"Just you're…" He has to say something.

"I'm what?"

"Fucking gorgeous." Drop dead, fucking beautifully gorgeous. He rubs at the back of his head in a second of insecurity at admitting what he was thinking. "And freezing so put some clothes on before you catch cold."

"You could always warm me up."

Steven's begging for it, every movement of his body is begging for it. But Ann and Cheryl will be back up from the stables soon and he can't help but think that they'd get interrupted.

"Sleeping with a popsicle is not on my to-do list." He doesn't want their first time... He really has to stop being so soft. "Later."

"That a promise?"

"Guarantee." There's nothing going to stop him later.

"Brendan!" Cheryl shouts.

He knew they wouldn't be that far behind.

"Brady you better not be screwing him already."

Brendan sighs and shakes his head. Wasn't she the one talking about class a couple of hours ago?

"Women." He mutters. "We'll be down in a second." He calls.

Steven's nearly dressed but still looks cold he searches through he draws for a pair of socks.

"Here." He hands them over.

Steven looks tiny, vulnerable in the too big clothes and cute as anything he's ever seen. It makes him want to carry him to his bed and take care of him in more than one way.

"You're in my clothes." Like a mark of ownership. Like Steven belongs to him.

"Which you gave to me." Steven remarks.

Christ. He can't help it. He walks forward and claims his lips, his mouth, like he wants to claim his body, he wants Steven to be his…

"Brady!" Ann shouts.

"I'm going to kill her. Come on or she'll come up."

Steven's a chef. A good one too. He works the kitchen with ease. Looks happy, chopping and stirring. His food is excellent. The best he's had in years. He doesn't know whether that's just because he knows Steven's made it that it sparkle just that little bit more or if there's another reason, which he can't seem to drum up.

Steven looks so right on his sofa. Looks so right in his house. Cheryl and Ann have both taken to him.

He ends up talking about the work programme for the young horses on the run up to Dublin. He glances at the clock and realises he's going to have to go and check on the horses out in the field.

"I'm going to do the long round." At Steven's frown he explains. "I'm going to make sure that the horses in the bottom paddocks are alright." He's leaving Steven with Ann. There's every chance that he won't be able to put up with her. Ann's an acquired taste. And Chez, she could seriously put Steven off with her over bearing, protective younger sister act. "I expect him here and in one piece when I get back." They both know that it means he'll he seriously pissed off if they scare Steven off, although if Steven can't hack Ann and Chez then maybe the lad isn't who he's fairly sure he is.

He pulls on his water proofs and head off down into the yard and up past the arena to check the back paddocks first.

He leans against the fence for a moment and takes a breath. Steven. In his house, on his sofa, in his life… He likes it. Likes him around. The way his smile lights up his face, that accent. Christ.

He's half convinced himself that Steven won't be there when he gets back that Cheryl and Ann will have made him run for the hills with the horror story of his car crash marriage.

"You're still here."

"Where else would I be?" Steven asks like he's an idiot.

"Just surprised, these two are a handful."

Ann goes for a bath. Chez rattles on about Nate and he's fairly sure that while he was walking around the soaking fields Cheryl has taken a serious shine to Steven.

"Would you like to go out with me? For a drink or a meal? Something?"

Steven wants to date him. Asked him out. He knew under it all Steven had the confidence to ask for what he wanted. And Steven wants him, confirms that this isn't one way. That Steven wants to know more about him just like he wants to know more about Steven.

He means it when he says he'll take him anywhere. The moon. He doesn't know when his feelings got so strong, sometime between first sight and seeing what Steven could look like as part of his life.

"I've got a better collection upstairs." Nerves spring up in his stomach.

"Are you trying to get me into bed with you?"

"It working?"

"I'm not objecting."

Second time he's had Steven in his bedroom but this time he's going to get what he's been craving since he met Steven Hay.

"Not that bothered by the film." Steven's spread out on his bed. Sweet, innocent but with the devil in his eyes.

"Good." He climbs up between Steven's thighs and fuck if that doesn't just feel right. Perfect. "Didn't know how much longer I could go…" Steven pulls him into a demanding kiss before he could finish.

It's addictive, the feel of him, the way he responds to every touch like he doesn't even realise he's doing it. The way his kiss yields but strains at the same time.

He wants him more than anything or anyone he's ever wanted, ever.

The lustful look, the way Steven's breath catches when he takes off his shirt.

"Careful you'll have me thinking you only want me for my body… Wouldn't blame you. Clothes off." He strips quickly and reaches for what he needs, condom and lube. He turns back and Steven naked. Completely and utterly exposed.

He can't help the groan.

"Look at you." He says as he runs his hands up his torso with care. He wants to worship him for letting him see this never mind touch him.

Steven shocks him as his hand wraps around his cock and kisses him hard, full of want.

"No long drawn out foreplay for you then." Brendan says smiling. Steven wants this as much as he does. Needs it like he does.

"Shut up and fuck me."

He pins him to the bed to get a feel of what it would be like to have this wild, beautiful young man surrendering to him. He wonders if he will but Steven wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him closer.

He needs this. Needs to see him come apart.

He kisses him deeply as he works lube into him, stretches him. He's tight as anything, hot as hell. He can't wait to get his dick in him. He feels for his prostate and watches as Steven loses himself in what he's doing to his body, to the pleasure he's inflicting until he's wriggling and squirming, gripping at everything around them for something to hold on to. Amazing…

He can't hold off any longer. He tears the condom open puts it on carefully, the slightest pressure has his head spinning. He presses against Steven hole, pink and a little puffy from his fingers, looks far too small to take him. As soon as the head of his cock is in him Steven's breath stutters and he has to kiss him, can't bare the idea of this causing him anything but pleasure… Hot, tight, he's going to lose his mind, he gives himself a pause but Steven reaches down and pushes at him to start moving. He can't deny him. He thrust in and out, looks down and see's his cock disappearing into Steven who just hands himself over, completely, throws himself into Brendan's hands and trusts him. It's powerful that trust.

He searches out the right angle to get Steven crying out, moaning the sweetest sounds he's heard in a long time. He loses himself in it, the pleasure he's creating. The way Steven arches and writhes until he's pounding into him as deep as he can, he reaches for Steven cock and takes him apart. He holds off until Steven comes then lets himself go.

His arms threaten to give out on him so he lowers himself down and pants into Steven collars bone until Steven's shifting. He's too heavy to be staying on top of him.

He pushes himself up, looks down at the fucked out mess of the young man under him, shakes his head at just how much he still wants him, kisses him softly to distract him as he withdraws his cock.

"You're staying." He states tying off the condom and throwing it into the bin at the side. Steven's staying the night. No chance he's letting him drive back.

He climbs under the covers and pulls Steven to him admires how he fits against him. How right he feels in his arms, in his bed, in his house, in his life.

He kisses the top of Steven's head.

"You're staying." He wants Steven here, wants him next to him. Nothing in his life has ever made him feel as complete.


	3. Chapter 3

Back to Ste's POV...

* * *

He wakes to the sound of his phone ringing, he pulls the covers over his head then remembers where he is… He's alone in the bed, its light outside that much he can tell from under the covers. He remembers Brendan saying something about a 5am start, he's glad he hadn't woken him. Five in the morning is the time to get back from a night out not the time to be woken up to start the day.

He pushes the quilt up over his head and stares up at the unfamiliar ceiling. The phone is still ringing. He looks around the room, Brendan's room, he gets the flutter in his stomach as he remembers what they had done the night, hell the day before… He can't work out where the phone is. It had been in the back pocket of the jeans that had been wet through the day before. He rubs at his eyes and tries to concentrate on the sound.

Bathroom…

He stretches and gets out of bed, pulling his boxers on and wonders into the spacious en suite, if he misses the call he can always ring them back. His clothes are hung up on a heated towel rail, phone and car keys on the window sill, the phone vibrating so hard it's almost falling off.

Incoming call. Amy.

"Ames?" His voice is a little strained.

"Ste are you alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"It's nearly eleven and you're not back I was starting to worry."

"Sorry, just woke up." He replies. He hadn't meant to sleep in, at least not this late.

"You had a good night then." He can hear her filthy smile.

"Yeah." Very good.

"Can you tear yourself away from your new man long enough to bring the car back? Me and Tim want to take Leah and Lucas out."

"Yeah, sorry. I'll be back in, half an hour, less." He'd forgotten. Amy had planned a little trip.

He grabs his jeans and pulls them on, they're dry… He wonders when Brendan had hung them up… He pulls his t-shirt over his head.

The house is silent. He tries to get his hair to behave stealing a little of Brendan's hair gel.

There's no one around downstairs. He can only assume they're all outside working.

He pulls on his dry socks and shoes in the porch before heading out. It's cloudy but the winds died down so he doesn't feel too cold.

There a few women making their way into one of the numbered doors. They smile and he smiles back. A man and a woman are coming out of another door. He assumes they're some of the riding holiday people.

He heads through the inner stables yard and into the main yard. He heads to the office, it's open but Brendan's nowhere to be seen.

"Morning love." He turns and Cheryl walks across from the tack room. "Bren's in the arena."

"Thanks." He smiles and heads that way.

Brendan's cantering around with a hat on jumping various fences which look pretty high.

"Make the spread six foot." Brendan shouts as he canters round past them.

Ann runs across and moves two fences that are together but a little apart out until she can stand in the middle of them without arms spread and still not touch them. The poles are up to her neck. He watches Brendan line up and jump the fence cleanly.

"He's still doing it." Ann calls.

"Make it an Oxer." Brendan replies and Ann lift the front pole up until it's equal with the back. She jogs back out of the way.

Brendan lines the horse up again this time the horse hits the front pole knocking to the floor. Brendan circles the arena slowing down to a walk.

"He needs some gymnastic grids." Brendan growls. "He'll never clear second round if he doesn't start snapping his front feet up."

"You're busy I better…" He states.

"Ann hop on while I talk to Steven." Brendan drops to the ground. Ann pulls her hat on and Brendan gives her a leg up onto the horse. She crosses the stirrups over the front of the saddle and walks the horse away from them.

Brendan pulls the gate and walks towards him.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to…" He starts but then Brendan wraps his arms around him pressing him into his body against his hard chest, kissing him deeply before pulling back but keeping his hands on his hips.

"Didn't you get enough last night?" Ann calls.

He certainly didn't. He doesn't think he's had anywhere near enough of Brendan.

He stretches up on his tip toes and kisses Brendan hard. Brendan hands roam down his spine and down to his waistband and grips his arse.

"Work before play Brady." Ann shouts. "Dublin."

Brendan grunts in annoyance, tapping his arse then stepping back.

"I've got to go anyway." It comes back to him with startling clarity. "Ames needs the car."

"Are you busy tonight?" Brendan asks. "Could go out."

"No, not busy but I might not have a car."

"I'll pick you up."

"Yeah okay." He gives Brendan his number.

Amy, Tim and the kids are sitting in the living room waiting for him.

"Sorry." He gives the keys to Tim who gathers up the kids and their things and takes them to the car.

"You dirty stop out." Amy beams at him.

He blushes a little under her scrutiny. She looks like she's about to launch into a grilling for details.

"You better go Tim's waiting."

"You seeing him again?" Amy asks.

"Tonight."

"He's keen then." Amy kisses his cheek.

"I don't know what time I'll be in."

"Don't worry about that you're meant to be enjoying yourself." She says as she picks up her bag and heads out the door.

He spends the afternoon relaxing and working out what to wear. He can't decide, he doesn't even know where they're going. He asks and it turns out they're going to a local pub for a meal so he doesn't need to dress up.

He gets nervous half an hour before Brendan is due to pick him up. They've barely talked. The sex was incredible but what if they didn't get on? He plays with his bottom lip. He doesn't even know why that matters after all he leaves in two weeks… He could just enjoy the sex… Doesn't feel like just sex though.

Brendan knocks on time and looking like a wet dream… Jesus the muscles. He's shaved his stubble.

"Hi." He can't help but be a bit nervous.

Brendan steps forward and presses him to the wall kissing him hard, he gives back as hard as he's getting biting gently at Brendan's tongue. Brendan breaks the kiss.

"Nervous?"

Not now. Now he's ready to forget all about going out and drag Brendan upstairs.

"Not anymore." He replies. Brendan laughs and kisses him gently.

Brendan holds the door for him on his top of the line Audi. He frowns a bit at him but gets in.

"I haven't been on a date in a while." Brendan admits as they speed through the countryside. "Since the divorce, I've been too busy for anything more than a one night stands but there's something about you Steven."

They've got a lot more in common that he thought was possible. They both work hard to the detriment of their personal lives. They both love their kids and wish they could see more of them.

"Do you want to come back to mine?" Brendan asks as they approach the turn off for the house he's staying at.

"Yeah." No doubts. He wanted to be back in Brendan's bed. Wanted to see if the previous night had been a fluke, feeling that good, feeling that right, it had to be a one off.

Brendan takes him back to his house and hurries him upstairs, shuts the door then crowds him into the wall.

He doesn't think it should be possible to kiss like Brendan kisses him while stripping his clothes off. Deep, open, a filthy swirl of tongues that has his chest burning and his dick desperate for friction. He groans with relief when Brendan pulls his jeans down and his boxers drag down offering a bit of relief but not enough. He pulls at Brendan shirt to get it off and over his shoulders and unbuttons Brendan's jeans.

"Stay there."

He's not moving, he leans back against the coolness of the wall doing nothing to reduce the heat of his skin as Brendan approaches full of intent, pushing him into the wall with a brutal kiss, pulling back, ripping open the condom and covering himself generously in lube.

"Can you take it?" Brendan asks breath hot against his jaw. "Hummm?"

He nods and lifts his leg up, Brendan grips the back of his thighs and he wraps his legs around his waist.

He feels Brendan's cock brush against his hole, he tilts his hips and the pressure is there. Brendan kisses his neck, his jaw, shifts his grip, the pressure's intense but he wants it, he forces himself to relax as best as he can, Brendan keeps pushing in slowly, head against his collar bone panting breath.

"Ahhh." He groans as the sweat on his back slips him down the wall and further onto Brendan. He grips at Brendan's back fingers slipping.

He throws his head back when Brendan catches his prostate full off and cries out, Brendan instantly covers his mouth with his own as he increases his thrusts all aimed at the same spot. He groans into Brendan's mouth rolls his hips trying to get more, more pressure, more pleasure, more friction, he reaches down for his cock and starts to move his hand in time until he's coming apart again and Brendan's still hammering into him, jerks then groans into his neck.

"Fuck you're…" Brendan starts, pauses then lifts his head and kisses him, still embedded, still hard, still thrusting a little as his body runs with tremors from the oversensitivity of his skin. Brendan growls low in his throat and latches onto the top of his shoulder, sucking hard, then lapping at it with his tongue. Brendan lifts him up and off his cock.

His legs feel like jelly as they touch the floor again.

Not a fluke.

Brendan drives him back up to the house the next morning, nearly afternoon and he spends the rest of the day playing with the kids.

He gets a text from Brendan inviting him down to his for a night in with Cheryl, Ann, a film and a take away.

He laughs at Ann telling him about some jockey she had been seeing who had fallen down the stairs at a club they'd been at and how that had lead to her dating the paramedic that had come to his aid.

After they've eaten and Cheryl comes back from checking the stables.

He curls himself into Brendan's side when the film starts, by half way through Brendan pushes him up off the sofa, lies full length and pulls him back down on to him, shifting across until Ste's pressed against the back of the sofa, head on Brendan's chest, one of Brendan's arms around his shoulders drawing patterns on his back until he gets bored of that and starts stroking his hair. It's not surprising that he fell asleep before the end.

Brendan wakes him and they go upstairs, as soon as Brendan's undressing it's like fire through his veins and he's awake again.

Brendan sucks him off hard and fast, swallows him all the way down presses Ste's hands into the back of his head and encourages him to fuck his mouth until he's coming apart. Brendan shoots his load kneeling between Ste's thighs across his stomach, wipes up then collapses onto the bed like dead weight. Just when he thinks that he's asleep Brendan shifts and pulls him into his arms.

He wakes to the press of weight on the mattress making it's way up the bed, there's the tickle of breathing on his lips. He can feel the weight over him, around him. There but not touching. He smiles a little and is greeted with the press of lips against his own. He moans a tiny bit and the lips increase their pressure until he opens his mouth and the kiss becomes more hotter, needier… He follows up as the kiss is broken. He opens his eyes. Brendan's smirking at him and is unfortunately fully dressed.

There's light pouring in through the windows.

"Think I've worn you out." Brendan looks incredibly pleased with himself.

He has a point, three nights he's stayed and three morning's he's woken up after ten. First time he's woken up to Brendan and not an empty bed and silent house.

"Takes a lot more than that." He states before reaching for Brendan's neck and pulling him down so he can kiss him hard and feel the press of his body even if the covers are in the way. His dick was already semi hard now it's starting to get seriously interested. He pulls at Brendan's jumper to try and get it off. But Brendan breaks the kiss, pulls his jumper over his head, hops off to the side of the bed and pulls the covers straight off the bed.

He lies exposed on the linen. He should be trying to cover himself but he doesn't.

"Christ." Brendan breaths.

The look on his face, the utter stunning desire in Brendan's eyes has him reaching down to his cock, he starts to work it slowly. Brendan watches the movement with undivided attention. Narrow focus. It has him hot all over. His breath hitches as he catches the slit just right.

"Fucking hell." Brendan groans, unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them and his briefs down to the floor stepping out of them. He puts a knee on the bed and brings the other over until he's straddling his thighs. He drops his hands either side of his head, he arches up as Brendan's hard cock contacts his as his hand stops at the base.

Brendan shakes his head at him, mouthing at his jaw suddenly, he strains his neck as he tries to get Brendan's mouth there but he continues pressing open mouthed kisses along his jaw until he's near his ear.

"Keep touching yourself." It's a command which he's happy to follow.

Brendan drops his mouth onto his neck, tongues at his pulse, pulls off and kisses him hard, he moans into his mouth, sucks at his lower lip. He arches up again as Brendan takes a hand from next to his head, wraps it around the one on his cock, encouraging him to keep stroking himself. Brendan growls low in his throat vibrations play along his tongue. Brendan's mouth moves lower tonguing kisses over his chest while his hand tightens on his fingers and forces him to increase the pace of his strokes.

His eyes close as he focuses on the feel, he moans. Brendan gently prises his hand off his cock, he feels Brendan's cock rubbing against his, then his large hand wrapping around both, rubbing them together as he sets a incredible pace which has him writhing, pleading, begging for release. He comes a second before Brendan.

"You're amazing." Brendan pants against his mouth. Kissing him lazily. "You know that?"

He wraps a hand around the back of Brendan's head, deepens the kiss and arches up into him.

"Brady some time today! We have to go!" Ann shouts up the stairs.

Brendan sighs and kisses him again.

"No rest for the wicked." Brendan rolls off the bed, he watches in fascination as the muscles move under his skin. If he wasn't still slightly boneless he would move to the end of the bed and run his fingers over them.

He watches as Brendan pulls on his clothes, covering himself up, he wishes idly that they lived in a world where Brendan wouldn't be wearing clothes ever, he wants him naked again.

"I have to go." Brendan states.

"Ann's waiting I know." He gets his elbows under him and pushes up, dropping his neck back a little to stretch it out, aches his back a little.

"Don't do that." Brendan sighs.

"Do what?"

Brendan glares at him.

He smiles and gives in pulling his clothes on. Brendan's got a competition to get to. He shouldn't be trying to seduce him back into to bed but it was worth a try.

He gets down to the yard just as Brendan's about to get in the lorry. Ste wraps his around him and kisses him filthy.

"For luck." He smiles and waves as Brendan and Ann pull away.

Amy brings Leah down for a riding lesson with Cheryl. They sit and watch while Amy quiz's him all about Brendan. He returns back to the house and spends the rest of the day playing with Leah and Lucas while Amy and Tim go on a drive to some house or other.

Brendan phones him at eleven as he's half way through an action film to say goodnight and to ask him to come to dinner at his then Ann nicks the phone from Brendan and tells him that Brendan is pining for him, to which he hears Brendan swearing at her, and asks if he could do the cooking because she'd like something edible.

He gets Amy to drop him at the yard early with a couple of things he had bought to make dinner, despite the full fridge he had to the butchers because there was no meat in and he needed a decent bottle of wine for Ann and Cheryl and some beer for himself and Brendan.

He checks the office but it's empty, he thinks about heading up to the arena but Ann comes out of the tack room.

"What are you making?" Ann asks going for the bag.

"Steak and chips."

"Boring." She complains. "Shouldn't you be doing something fancier? I ask for you to cook for some originality I get bored of the same old…"

"You'll have what I make and like it or I'll let Cheryl help."

"Steak and chips what a brilliant concept. Love it." Ann back tracks smiling. "Brendan's out on Minnie should be back soon though." Handing him her house key.

"Time do you want it for?"

"Half six."

He gets everything prepped and ready to just finish off, he knows that they properly won't be on time so there's no point doing the meat.

He grabs a beer and lies out on the sofa watching TV until quarter past six then starts doing the chips.

He's just finishing off the sauce when he hears the door open. He glances over his shoulder and see Brendan standing in the doorway staring at him. He frowns at him then turns his attention back to the pan.

"Had a good day?" He asks reaching for some pepper out of the cupboard, he adds a bit gives it chance to flavour, tastes, then adds a bit more. "Here have a taste of this and see what you think." He dips a spoon into it and turns holding it out. Brendan's still standing where he was but he's leaning against the doorframe, with his arms crossed still watching him.

"What?" He asks unnerved.

Brendan shakes his head and walks over to him taking the spoon out of his hand and tastes.

"Like it?"

Brendan nods placing the spoon on the bench, then boxes him in with his arms either side of him, leans in kissing him gently, he pushes himself into him, Brendan pushes him back flush into the cupboards and it gets rougher, hotter…

"You owe me a fiver." Ann states as she waltzes in shocking him into pulling back a bit.

"Couldn't have taken another ten minutes?" Brendan groans at Ann, still flush against him.

"Ten minutes and I wouldn't get any food, you'd have dragged him off to your cave." Ann replies.

"They're not naked are they?" Cheryl asks, still in the porch.

"No they're decent… sort of." Ann replies. "Disengage boys." She taps Brendan's shoulder. "Very sorry to interrupt but I'm hungry."

Cheryl steps inside with a hand over her eyes, then sneaks a peek out between her fingers.

"I love you Bren but I don't ever want to see you naked."

"And she certainly doesn't want to see you balls deep in your boyfriend." Ann adds.

"Ann!"

"Christ."

Brendan rolls his eyes a little, pecks a kiss on his bottom lip then grabs a beer from the counter and goes to the sofa.

He clears his throat and adjusts his jeans, he's rocking a semi but Ann and Cheryl in the room he manages to calm himself down.

"How do you want you're steaks?"

He cooks them to order. Brendan blue but closer to rare after Cheryl rages she's not seeing blood while she's eating. He doesn't point out that even rare there's going to be blood.

"I'll eat it in the kitchen you won't be able to see it." Brendan replies but when he gets his plate he gets his knife and folk and sits back down on the sofa.

He sits next to Brendan as they eat and keeps his head down as Ann and Brendan start talking about Dublin and something to do with the classes and timings.

When Brendan goes to do the long round he asks about the competition they had been to and that leads to a more detailed conversation about what Brendan does.

He knows he competes all over Ireland and that he'd been to England where he'd met Ann but he doesn't really know what Brendan does for a living.

He learns that Brendan is pretty good at Show Jumping, that he's professional rather than amateur, one of the top riders in the country and is trying to break into the Irish Show jumping team although his top Grand Prix horse, the one that jumps the biggest fences for the most money, Revelation's Revenge, stable named Des, is injured.

Ann explains that the horses actual name is usually too long winded and they shorten them down or use something else, like a nickname.

"Horses don't care what the ring announcer calls them." She states.

Which leads to an explanation from Cheryl about Brendan's 'string' as she puts it.

He has three other Grand Prix horses, Nico, Red and Bean.

"Why Bean?" He asks.

"He's bouncy." Ann shrugs. "Got loads of spring in his jump."

Apparently they aren't quite ready for international Grand Prix courses which are bigger and more technical, they're short of experience so Brendan's holding them back. Despite the fact that because they're jumping at lower levels they aren't earning the top prize money.

He's also got Max, a speed horse who jumps smaller fences but as quickly as possible. Diesel and Tat are class horses, Jack of all trades that jump lower standards but are good enough to win and bring money in.

Jack (Double B Ajax), Jim (Double B Apollo, Jack's younger brother) and Minnie (Double B Athena, Jack's younger sister) are all young horses that Brendan had bred from himself from a mare that he had ridden at the top level that had been retired due to age.

"You've got to have a string to make enough money from competitions to pay to keep going as a professional." Cheryl says. "Taken years to get this string put together, get the right owners. It's a bloody expensive sport. Dublin's a big week for us."

"Dublin international Horse show is next week." Ann clarifies. "Loads of classes and loads of prize money. You should come and watch."

"I'm sure Leah will enjoy it." Cheryl says at his hesitation.

It's not that he doesn't want to go it's just that he doesn't know anything and every time they have a conversation about horses he seems them do a double take, think about what they've just said and have to repeat it differently so he understands.

But he wants to see Brendan compete.

Later while he's lying wrapped in Brendan's arms enjoying the afterglow Brendan asks him to come to a rider's party which is during the Dublin show. All the rider's, their partners, their grooms and anyone else that a rider wants to invite go down to the lorry park and have a massive piss up together.

"You could come to the Dublin formal do if you want as well." Brendan adds on. "It's all suits and ties, posh food, wine and talking crap all night. You'd like the food though."

"But I don't know anything about horses."

"Doesn't matter. I want you there. Will you come?"

"If you want me there then yeah."

"I want you there." Brendan states firmly kissing him on the temple and turning them so Brendan spooning him, arm around his waist holding him against his chest. He turns his head and Brendan kisses his bottom lip.

Brendan was busy with his preparations for the show and said he couldn't have any distractions in the build up. He looked so stressed out and nervous about telling him that he hasn't got time to see him.

"It's your job. It's fine." He replied, kissed Brendan. "Call me when you've got time."

He went on a day trip with Amy, Tim and the kids. He built them sand castles and shared ice cream. He couldn't keep his mind off Brendan though. It would sneek up on him and the urge to ring him, text him anything just to make sure he was alright that he wasn't too stressed was only resisted because Brendan was busy and he didn't need him pestering him.

He took Leah down to the yard so she could go out with Cheryl as arranged the day before the show.

There was a sign on the office with do not disturb on which he spotted as soon as they were within sight.

Cheryl looked frazzled.

"You don't have to…"

"Ste it's madness, an hour out of it is just what I need." She insisted.

There was a massive lorry parked next door to the tack room. He could see Ann going through a check list.

"Thea I need the good coolers not these." Ann shouted and threw a pile of rugs away from the lorry. Saddles and bridles were hanging from various hooks. There was stuff everywhere but it was in piles and it was being loaded it with military precision if Ann's clip board was anything to go by.

He didn't know where to put himself. He didn't want to disturb Ann who looked as stressed as he had ever seen her. The tack room was too busy. He couldn't go in the office. Leah was about to head out.

He headed up to the arena and sat on the top of the bank watching a group of women in the arena jumping various fences until he got bored and started playing on his phone.

"This is where you're hiding."

"I'm not hiding."

"I am." Brendan states and sits down next to him. "Save me from owners who can't read a schedule."

"Would if I could." And he realises just how much he means it even though he's not quite sure what Brendan's referring to. Still if it'd stop Brendan looking so stressed he'd do it in a heartbeat.

Brendan has his head in his hands. Tension written in every muscle. He gets up, Brendan throws a glance sideways. He sits back down behind him, knee's either side of Brendan, using the slight incline to his advantage as he rubs at Brendan's shoulders, starting gently until he finds the right pressure, which becomes clear when Brendan groans and tilts his head back.

"I should have rang but…"

"Brendan, it's fine don't worry about it." He continues to gently work his fingers over his shoulders, up his neck and down his spine until Brendan lies back against him. He rests his hands against Brendan's chest.

"I missed you, you know?"

"I missed you too." He had, really missed him.

"Brendan! Fisher's on the phone!" Ann shouts.

Brendan sighs heavily and heaves himself up offering Ste his hand pulling him to his feet and leading him back down to the yard.

He thought that Brendan would disappear into his office by himself but instead he pulls him in too.

"Give me one minuet." Brendan says as he picks up the phone.

He busy's himself making Brendan a coffee while Brendan talks, he lets the conversation drift over him.

"… I'll see you there." Brendan puts the phone down and rocks back in his leather chair.

"When was the last time you ate?" He asks.

"Had breakfast."

He points to the half-eaten bacon sandwich on the desk.

"I take it that was it." He states. Brendan nods.

"Come on. I'll make you something."

"Steven I…" The phone starts ringing.

"Keys." Ste holds out his hand for the house key.

He makes Brendan a big sandwich, he'd been told there was practically nothing that Brendan wouldn't eat by the man himself so he didn't worry about what he was putting in it. He grabbed a couple of chocolate cookies out of the jar, locked up and walked back down.

Brendan was off the phone but leaning back in his chair.

"Here you go." He states placing the plate down.

Brendan frowns at him, looks at the sandwich then takes a mouthful chews, then devours the rest of it.

"Tickets." Brendan says once he's finished pulling out a pile from an envelope in the draw. "This is a groom's pass it'll let you come into the stables when you get into the show ground. Give me a ring and I'll come and meet you, you'll never find us otherwise."

"You want me… I thought you'd be busy."

"I will be but…"

"But?"

"I want you to see what I do." Brendan states.

"Yeah, I do to."


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for your reviews.

AN: Sorry if I'm boring anyone with the horse stuff... Not really sure about this chapter it's a big change in tone but here goes...

Brendan POV...

* * *

"You've fallen for him haven't you?" Ann asks as they sit going through which horse has which number for which class on what day. A tedious task that needed to be done. It helped him set his mind on the classes through. Helped put them into order. He's had the schedule for weeks but it's only a couple of days before the show starts he lets himself focus on it. He's read out the class times so many times to owners that he knows it like the back of his hand but that's different. Knowing when a class is and knowing what the class is about are two different things.

Dublin is a massive show for him, for them, for everyone involved in the yard. The money on offer, the chance to step a horse up, a chance if he performs well that he'll be offered another top class horse, he's got his string but there's always room for one or two more, there's always the opportunity to be offered that horse that really takes him to the top. He's got his hopes with Jack, Nico, Red and Jim that he's got a Rio horse there but nothing is ever certain in the horse world.

Horses for all their strength and power are fragile and there's never a guarantee with them.

He would love Des to be fit and firing so they could do the International Grand Prix, go up against some of the best horse and rider combinations in the world but it's not to be. He'd only let Des out in the field for a couple of hours, booted him up to make sure he didn't injure his legs but he'd still managed to come back lame. It was one of those things.

"Ignoring me isn't going to shut me up Brady."

"If only." He sighed.

"So? You and Ste?"

He shrugs a bit.

He hasn't seen him in days with everything he needed to do for Dublin, he couldn't afford to be distracted it was too important. He had to make sure that the horses are right, the tacks clean which is more Ann's department but he still likes to check himself, everything is in place, making sure that the owners feel included, know the plans, have them ring every day and check that everything is still alright and to check the class time again and again.

He misses him. Never thought that someone who he'd just met could leave a hole in his life by not being around.

"Don't give me that, I've seen the way you are with him." Ann says. "This is more than just a fling isn't it?"

He shrugs again but leaves the paperwork alone. He doesn't know what he and Steven are. He just knows that he misses him when he's not around, misses him in his bed because for all the sentiment that seems to be welling up about him, Steven is a fire cracker, willing, able and frankly the best fuck he's ever had. It's more than just his body, it's the way he tastes, feels, the noises he makes, the insatiable look in his eye, the lust for him, doesn't matter where or when Steven wants him. He misses waking up to him in his bed all fluffy hair and peaceful, the way Steven grumbles and moves in his sleep when he kisses him before having to get up even though he doesn't want to, even if he wants to stay right there with him.

"You're the fall hard and fast type Brendan."

The day he'd come back from the yard and found him making them dinner in his kitchen, asking about his day. He'd seen a vivid display of what his life could be like with Steven in it, how it could work instead of just wanting it.

"That skinny little hot body of his has had you tied in knots since you first laid eyes on him… You don't do dating yet you've taken him out even after you'd slept together. You do one night stands and kick them out. You don't invite anyone for take away and film and stroke their hair while me and Cheryl are around looking the most content I've ever seen you… You don't kiss someone like you kiss him without being deeply into them, although I'm sure you have been, given the number of condom's you've gone through."

He glares at her. Just because he'd put another two packets on the shopping list as he hadn't had time to go out.

She rolls her eyes and tuts at him then softens a bit.

"Nothing wrong with falling in love Brendan."

He can't deny it. He never believed that people could be made for each other, he'd always believed that he'd have to make do. He'd married Eileen because he decided to make do, horrible as it sounds.

They had dated when they were in school, she was from a good family, he was always told how lucky he was, he couldn't admit to who he was, feared it would break his career that no owner would touch him if they found out he was gay, his father had instilled in him that being gay was unnatural, sick and most importantly a sin against god. He'd messed around with a few men here and there when he was drunk. In England he was a no one and it couldn't get back to his father or his sister. He could be a no man and do what he liked even if it made him hated himself for finding more pleasure than he had ever known in another man rather than a woman.

Eileen had waited for him. Put up with fleeting visits while he was in England working his way up. She wanted to get married have kids, he hadn't seen anything wrong with that. It was what was expected of him so he had done it.

When she had come to live with him in England he had already started to make his way up the ranks, had managed to win a couple of good classes enough to rent a nice little house. She'd never had anything to do with horses but she saw it like he was like any other husband that worked away a lot. She was to keep him house and his kids happy. Be the dutiful wife and spend all his money. She'd come to the parties and the shows when they were local enough. She'd seen the glamour, all the minted posh people who were around, the size of the prize money, the cost of the horses. She had seen it all without understanding it.

It wasn't until they moved back to Ireland that she had realised what it was actually like. With his own yard she had expected that he'd be able to employ loads of staff and spend less time away, spend more time taking her out… It was the yards location that had put a serious hole in their marriage. It wasn't close enough to Dublin for her. She was stuck without being able to go shopping, without being able to see any friends that she had managed to stay in touch with. She had to drive the kids to school because there was no bus. Everything was about the horses and not about her now he worked for himself and not someone else, now he had to do the organising.

When he'd met Ann she had been between jobs having just quit an eventing yard, where she had been bringing on youngsters for the multi-disciplined sport but it wasn't getting her where she wanted to be. She was talented with horses, knew how a yard worked and wanted to be involved in an up and coming rider and yard. She had been at one of the Horse of the Year show parties and she'd asked for a job then and there. It was only when she'd done her months trial that he had decided that he liked her, her bluntness, foul mouth, she said what she thought and liked a reaction she wasn't worried about what people thought of her too much. She was free in a way he wanted to be.

When he'd employed Vinnie he'd been thinking with his dick. The writing was on the wall for him and Eileen it just needed something or someone to finish it off. He'd long since given up denying to himself at least that he was straight. He'd seen that it couldn't effect his career, no one cared who he was banging as long as he was producing results in the ring. Vinnie had been sweet, terribly naïve and so eager to impress it was painful at times.

He'd been rotten drunk and had just given in. He knows that he wanted to get caught. He was so tired of pretending. So tired of not being who he was.

Eileen had flipped her lid packed her clothes and taken the kids with her to her mothers.

In the aftermath he decided that there was no better time to come out. His Dad was dead. His wife had caught him in bed with a man, it wasn't like he even wanted to deny it. He'd worried about it.

Ann didn't care, she had half an inkling anyway when he'd disappeared with Mike one of Peter's grooms during a party. She didn't change the way she treated him just said it made sense why he hadn't tried it on with her and winked at him.

Cheryl had been upset that he'd lied but had accepted him straight away.

Vinnie had stayed for a while but he had wanted a relationship. Brendan didn't. Vinnie wasn't for him and as soon as Vinnie realised that it wasn't going to happen he'd left.

And that was it.

He'd had one night stands, two if they were good, whenever the need took him but he hadn't had a relationship. Hadn't wanted to settle down.

Steven though… Steven was different. It was like he was made for just for him. It's easy and fun, lust and contentment… He knows he's in love with Steven.

"You've got to tell him." Ann states.

"He leaves in a week and a half." He sighs, a few days had been bad enough when Steven was just up the road and his distracted with Dublin but even then he'd been thinking about him, missing him. If he leaves…

"Ask him to stay."

He's being trying to work out if he should. Ask Steven to give up a job he loves, Steven told him how much he loves it, seeing his kids when he pleases, Steven adores his kids… For what? To live on Brendan Brady's yard two hours from Dublin, ten miles from the nearest village… To give up everything to live with him, his sister, Ann, Thea, a couple of working holiday girls, holiday guests and twenty three horses? When he won't be at home more than five weeks in a straight run… That he'll go to a competition come back have two days, up to four at home before he's away again most of the year… And if he gets into the top tier it'll be worse because he'll have to travel a lot more, abroad especially. On top of the shows he does in England, he'd be going to Germany, Spain, France, America, all over the world.

It's too much to ask.

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"He'd hate it here."

"He isn't Eileen."

"I know he's not." She wouldn't have just accepted that he couldn't see her because he was busy the way Steven had. She'd have demanded time. But then maybe Steven doesn't mind because this is a holiday thing for him. A bit of a fling to entertain him… It doesn't feel that way. The way Steven looks at him is too…

He sighs and scrubs his hair.

"He doesn't know what he'd letting himself in for. He doesn't know what it would be like."

"He's good for you. He's lovely and a laugh, we all get on... Don't throw it away because you're scared…"

"I'm not scared."

"You're scared he won't want to stay." Ann frowns. "You're scared that he doesn't love you back?"

"No." Steven not loving him back would be the best thing for him.

"You're scared that he does?" She shakes her head. "For fucks sake Brendan sometimes you're the stupidest bloke I know."

"I'm asking him to give up everything for me when I'm not even here most of the time."

"So? He can come with us. He doesn't have to stay home all the time." That's true. He doesn't. He can come with them to shows. He'd considered it but it'd be boring for him. Traipsing all over the place, sleeping in the lorry...

"He doesn't like horses." That's a crux because every aspect of his life involves them in some way. He'd even met Steven because of them. He won't give them up, won't give up his career or his home for anyone. He'd be miserable without them. They're his solace. No matter how bad his day is going out on a ride calms him down because if he doesn't calm down then the horse knows and they get upset and act up.

"He doesn't know about horses." Ann replies. "Give him the chance to see what you do."

"How?" Telling someone is one thing, living it is completely different.

"He's coming to Dublin with his family, give him a backstage pass. Show him what you do, what we all do and see if it's something he could get into."

He can't sleep. He keeps thinking about what he's got to offer and it just isn't enough… He couldn't bare to see Steven miserable. Couldn't take fake smiles as Steven tries to reassure him that it's fine that he's fucking off to another country to ride. He couldn't take it. It's better that he's had this much of him. That he gets Steven for a couple of weeks then they go their separate ways… He tenses at the thought of never seeing him again, his life looks so bleak without him… Going back to being alone, but he wouldn't be alone, he'd find someone else… He'd make do just like he had before and Steven would go back to his life… Maybe he'd think about him so days, remember the holiday he'd had in Ireland and remember what it was like, how good it was… It's better if they end when Steven holiday ends.

He's in a terrible mood. He's tired. He hadn't had time to even finish his breakfast before he'd gotten a phone call from Pete asking if he could possibly find time to ride one of his horses in the accumulator because he had another class at the same time. He agreed because he liked a good accumulator and Bass the horse Pete was offering was a good one. Then there had been sorting out who was doing what when. They'd eventually agreed that Pete's team would bring the horse up the day before the class so he could jump him a bit and get used to him even if it was just a couple of practice fences, then they would bring him to the collection ring on the day of the class and all Brendan would have to do was get on and do the class.

Then there had been Mrs Friars asking about Des which had lead to a lengthy discussion on what to do with him when he was back jumping and what shows to aim for.

Then there have been Ken Jones ringing to triple check the time of the class. Linda O'Brieg ringing to ask if he could possibly be at her daughter's class to walk the course with her, which he couldn't because he was in a class with one of her horses no less.

He rocked back in his chair. He needed to get out of there. He'd been locked in all morning.

He see's the car Steven's been driving around in.

He wants to see him. Needs it. He looks around the yard… Step out further and wonders if he'd gone to the house… Ann's busy and he knows better than to disturb her when she's packing the lorry. He wonders towards the inner yard and see's him sitting on the top of the bank around the arena.

He strides up the track.

Steven's on his phone.

"This is where you're hiding."

"I'm not hiding." Steven replies putting his phone away and smiling up at him.

"I am." He drops down next to him. "Save me from owners who can't read a schedule."

"Would if I could." It warms his heart. Steven hasn't got a clue what he'd going on about and he's still offering.

Sitting next to Steven is relaxing him, just his presence is enough to calm him down make him forget about the things that don't really matter concentrate on what does. This is going to end… It runs through him.

He wonders if Steven can sense it for half a second when he gets up, but then he sits behind him and starts massaging him shoulders. And it's so good. Steven's hands on his shoulders, on his back working the muscles, talented fingers on his neck, just the right pressure, the right touch and he's groaning and wanting more. Always wants more of him.

"I should have rang but…" He feels guilty as hell about it now taking the care that Steven is offering.

"Brendan, it's fine don't worry about it." Steven's tone is light and breezy. He leans back against him.

"I missed you, you know?" He has to admit it, make sure that Steven knows that.

"I missed you too." He sounds so sincere, his fingers grip at his jumper a bit, pulling him a little further into his body.

"Brendan! Fisher's on the phone!" Ann shouts.

Fucking Fisher. He sighs and pulls Steven up. He's here, he wants to enjoy it for a bit.

"Give me one minuet."

He half listens to Fisher taking about a young rider's horse that he has that he wants Brendan to trial at Dublin since it's going to be there. He agrees. Fisher has some good horses.

"… I'll see you there."

"When was the last time you ate?" Steven asks out of the blue and he looks around and spots the half eaten bacon sandwich, what a waste.

"Had breakfast."

"I take it that was it." Obviously.

"Come on. I'll make you something." Steven reaching for his hand to pull him out of his seat.

"Steven I…" Haven't got time. The phone starts ringing as if to prove his point.

"Keys." Steven demands. He hands them over while he listens to Henry, one of lads he'd met in England who had gone onto another yard talking about a young horse that's one the yard, a good one apparently that's up for sale and if he knows anyone that would be interested. He's not but he promises to put the word around at Dublin about it.

He leans back in the chair and tries not to think about the fact that he had asked Steven to the rider's party and the formal when he'd been so fucked out that it had seemed like a good idea. When he'd been enraptured by what their life together at home could be like instead of facing the facts.

"Here you go." Steven places the plate down. The sandwich is huge, now he's got food in front of him he realises just how hungry he is. And it tastes great, like everything Steven cooks.

He's already invited Steven to the parties… He may as well go all the way… Ann told him to give Steven a chance to see what his life was like… Maybe Steven won't hate it… If he does it proves the point that it would never work between them long term.

"Tickets. This is a groom's pass it'll let you come into the stables when you get into the show ground. Give me a ring and I'll come and meet you, you'll never find us otherwise."

"You want me… I thought you'd be busy." Steven doesn't want to be in the way and he appreciates that and hopes it not Steven trying to back out. Trying to tell him that he doesn't want to but not wanting to reject the offer.

"I will be but…" He could say he's never too busy for him but that would be a lie after the last few days.

"But?"

"I want you to see what I do." In for a penny in for a pound.

"Yeah, I do to."


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for reviewing I really appreciate it.

A/N: Hands up I have never been to Dublin International horse show so if the details are off very sorry. I used a map for layout and other shows I have been to. Kind of guessing that if you've come this far the horse stuff isn't bothering you too much. This is a chapters heavy on it again because I want to get Ste into Brendan's world. If you haven't guessed already I've got horses, which is why I find myself writing so much detail.

Ste POV

* * *

"You sure?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?" He asks frowning. He wants to know everything and he feels like he's missing a huge part of Brendan's life. Going to the show, seeing what it's all about, he wants to see.

He sees Cheryl returning with Leah out the corner of his eye. He's going to have to go. He steps around the desk and kisses Brendan, gently wants to take more of the tension away. See if he can distract him from all the stress. Brendan pulls him down onto his lap and grips the back of his head pulling him in. It quickly turns rougher, Brendan's hand slides up his back inside his t-shirt.

The phone rings and Brendan growls, the vibration plays across his tongue. He pulls back and kisses his bottom lip.

"I better go anyway." He sighs. He doesn't want to leave. He'd quite happily spend the entire afternoon sitting on Brendan's lap kissing him, or getting fucked over the desk… He smiles and kisses him again pushing himself up.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Brendan nods at him and sighs picking up the still ringing phone.

He listens as Leah tells him all about her ride with a knot building in his stomach. The more Leah talks about Murphy and riding the more he feels the disconnection. He doesn't know anything about horses, he's spent more time around them in the last week as he had in his entire life.

"What if I make an idiot of myself?" He asks as he's drying and putting away the dishes that Amy is washing.

"How would you do that?"

He shrugs.

"Ste you're meant to be having fun."

"I am."

"We go to the show, you see what he does, you go to the parties and then we go home."

"I know." He's been trying not to think about it.

"So what does it matter really if you do make a tit of yourself? We'll be back home soon and Brendan will be a holiday romance."

Leah is sat on the laptop watching show jumping. He sits next to her.

The camera pans around a big indoor arena with a huge crowd and back down to the sand and the jumps. There's a rider about to start. The fences look big. He sees a couple of people inside a decorative feature which is acting as an island so the horses sweep around it and as one stands it looks like the poles would be level with his neck.

He gets the aim. Jump all the jumps, fences Leah corrects him but he didn't realise there was a time limit. As he watches he sees next to the time a little score box. After a few rounds he catches on that every time a pole hits the floor it's four to the score and as Leah turns up the speaker and he can hear the commentator talk he learns that the horses and riders need to be clear and within the time. It's a bit repetitive as he watches horse after horse but there's no real telling when a fence is going to come down.

Then the next rider comes in.

"Brendan Brady next riding the very exciting prospect for Ireland Nickel Silver, the eight year old gelding by the great thoroughbred Stallion Usual Suspect. This horse impressed at the Hickstead Derby meeting earlier this year when he was one of the few clears in those horrendous conditions. Always a joy to watch this young man ride, he has great touch lets see how he goes…" The commentator states.

He didn't realise… He looks at the title of the video and it says Olympia in the underneath box it reads London international horse show Mistletoe stakes… Brendan's on TV, he's famous…

He looks different. Instead of the usual thread bare jeans, jumpers or t-shirts. He's in long black boot, skin tight white trousers, a white shirt with something around his neck, a jacket and a black hat. It's different… Brendan jumps away from the camera and he gets a great view of his arse. His mouth waters a little.

"Get's the four strides in there… This double has been causing problems, but not for this pair… This is a tricky little vertical, not full height but only the two strides from the corner… Horse just getting a little keen, needs to just hold him together for the final combination."

He realises he's been holding his breath and as he finishes clear and within the time he's realises he's proud of him, which is ridiculous because it's from last Christmas. The camera follows Brendan out under a tunnel, he sees Ann, she jogs up smiling and patting the horse on the neck.

"Another through for the Irish who are having a tremendous show."

He wants to see more of Brendan but the camera returns to the competition and the next rider.

"Time now for the jump off. Fewer fences, Bob Ellis is taking them to maximum height and keeping that combination in. Just the five fences." He counts seven and frowns. "The turns are really going to make or break rounds here not just the speed... A few riders have been looking at cutting inside fence three and just getting the one stride to the planks but at this height, with the cups they use these days it may prove difficult to keep the planks vertical."

"The riders have to balance that against the loss of momentum a sharp turn like that can cause against any time they think it will save. It may well prove better to go around three and give the horse a chance to clear the fence and keep the speed even. In situations like this it'll be the early riders that will show those later on if that is the right cause of action." The other commentator interjects.

He can't believe the speed that the horses are going as they go around the course and there aren't many that stay clear and as rider after rider goes the time that's been set seems impossible.

"Jimmy went hell for leather, as always. There aren't many that can keep the horse moving like he did between fences and stay clear but that is why he really is a master of any speed competition."

"His horses always give him everything and that really is the key to this sport getting your horse to really try for you. He really makes up for his shorter stride by being able to turn on a six pence and jump from nothing."

"There's some talented combinations still to come, he might not have it as sewn up as he thinks."

"Just the two clear at the moment and this is the time that those remaining may just be thinking about taking their foot off the gas and going for clear if they don't think they've got the speed to win."

Brendan comes in. He realises he's nervous, which is stupid. This has already happened…

"Nickel Silver is a long striding horse so it's tricky to judge just how fast he's going. Certainly covering the ground… And he goes around three and given what's gone before that really is the sensible option with a young horse just finding his feet at this level. Sometimes going too hard at this stage can do more harm than good. You don't want to ruin a horse by asking too much when they're inexperienced. Excellent over the oxer and that really is why so many consider this horse a World Cup horse of the future, so much scope and power."

It's tight for time as Brendan goes into the final two fences. He pushes to the line. Clear.

"That's good enough for second for the time being. Five more horses to go. He really did cover the ground there."

He feels a bit disappointed… He realises that Brendan's not even guaranteed second and he spends the rest of the video hoping that riders have fences down or are slower.

There a small screen that comes up in the top left.

"Can't really ask much more than that." Brendan says. "I didn't think we were going fast enough, which we weren't but he's done really well here, big step up with the crowds, he's never seen anything like that so he's done well."

He smiles a little at the screen. Brendan sounds so happy, so proud even if he possibly doesn't show it. If he hadn't met him he would have thought that Brendan was being a bit moody but he can tell that it's not the case.

"Didn't realise you were so serious." Amy says and he jumps. He didn't realise she was standing behind him. He didn't realise that Leah had left her seat.

"Just want to know what I'm watching tomorrow. Bit of research."

Amy sits down next time him.

"I don't remember you ever being interested in Ben like this, you went to watch him play Rubgy every Sunday for months and you still don't know the rules."

She has a point. He stood there freezing most of the time, playing with his phone and only looking up when Tina the wife of one of the players on Ben's team cheered and elbowed him. He had no interest in Rugby and even Ben's love of the game wasn't enough to inspire him into learning about it, he used to find anything else to do while it was on TV.

"Just don't get too carried away."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to see you get hurt."

He frowns at her.

"Brendan knows you're on holiday, he knows he has a time limit so maybe he's just being really nice to you now because he knows he doesn't have to keep it up."

"He's not like that."

"You don't even know him Ste, a few days isn't enough to know anyone."

He feels like he does know Brendan… But she's right he doesn't know him properly and maybe he is just being nice and charming and treating him right because he's not going to be around much longer…

He goes to bed and he can't sleep… He's missed Brendan so much in the past few days, thought about him so much. He has been letting himself get carried away.

They leave later than he wanted them to. Amy packing like they're going for three days. She's packed for all eventualities, all weather. He swears there are three changes of clothes for Lucas.

He's never been to a horse show before and he doesn't know what to expect, he wonders if it's indoors like the one he watched last night… It's outdoors. Tim gets them parked a long way away. They have to walk down. He didn't realise how busy it would be. Or how big.

Once through the entrance he rings Brendan but it goes straight through to voice mail he sends a text to let him know he's arrived.

There's so many people it's difficult to keep track of the kids.

They go for lunch since Brendan hasn't replied.

He gets a text through just saying _Ring 4_.

He leaves Amy, Tim and the kids shopping and tries to find his way. He asks an official who points him in the right direction.

He finds Ring 4. There's a few horses and a loads of people milling around inside. He can't see Brendan or Ann.

He rings again.

"Where are you?" Ann asks.

"By a sign saying Ring 4."

"Right stay there I'll be with you in about ten minutes."

Ann smiles as she approaches.

"We're in the stables. Got your pass?"

He pulls it out of his back pocket.

"Here you'll need this as well." She hands his a wrist band.

"How's it going?"

"Good. Minnie got through into the four year old final on Friday, she won this morning. Max is going in the speed class in about half an hour and Bean and Nico are in a class later." She replies. "Had something to eat?"

He nods.

"Good cos it's going to be none stop to well after six."

He follows her through the crowds and into the stable block which is all inside a big building.

"We're at the far end which is fucking typical." She says as they walk down a long row. "Watch for the backends they're the dangerous bit." She comments as they pass a horse.

He sees Brendan leaning against a stable door talking to another bloke. He's in those trousers, the white ones with the long boots, no jacket but that just gives him a better view.

"Found one very pretty young man." Ann states interrupting the conversation.

"Didn't get too lost did you? This place is a maze. I'm Pete by the way." The man smiles offering his hands. "Brendan I'll see you in the ring. Nice to meet you Ste."

He frowns how does he know his name?

"Hi." He smiles a little at Brendan trying to not be too obvious about his attention being mostly on his body and not on his face.

"Hi yourself." Brendan steps forward off the door and comes over to him kissing him lightly. His lips linger a little too long and his hands have made their way to his waist of their own accord.

"Ready for this?" Brendan asks.

He frowns.

"Being bored out of your mind." Brendan steps back a little.

"I was watching you last night it wasn't boring." He states.

"Watching me?" Brendan frowns at him.

"Jumping in some show in London… Olympia or something."

"You were watching me?" Brendan seems stunned.

"Yeah thought I'd give myself a crash course in Show jumping." He shrugs.

"Ding, ding Brady you were going to walk the course again." Ann states, there's a bright smile on her face and she looks happy about something.

He frowns.

"Walk around the fences, check the number of strides and work out which lines to use." Ann says. "I'll come up with you. Thea get Max set. American or Dutch?"

"I'll walk it again and decide." Brendan replies.

They leave through a different entrance/exit and into the crowd of people. Along and to a small stadium, he hadn't realised that there would be that many people there. Or that the arena would be so big.

"I'll walk it with Ste." Ann states and Brendan strides away. "He needs to concentrate and you are a distraction."

"Don't mean to be."

"Yeah but you are." Ann smiles softly. "Come on I take it you've never done this before?"

He shakes his head.

"Right then. There's a planner course, you've got to jump the fences in sequence." He rolls his eyes at her tone.

"This is a speed class. One-three first round, jump off they'll be around one thirty-five maybe one forty." Height he realises as they reach the first fence. Which is still pretty big to look at.

He follows Ann as they walk around.

"This is a combination, it's two fences but it only counts as one as they are a related distance." She stops herself. "There's a certain number of strides a horse can get in between them."

They don't manage to get all the way around before Brendan is finished and is with them and they walk back down to the stables.

"Dutch Gag second hole." Brendan states to Thea who picks up the bridle and puts it into the horses mouth attaching the reins to what looks like the third hole of the four that are there.

"I'll warm him up." He adds opening the stable door and leading Max out onto the walk way.

Ann grabs Brendan's jacket from on top of a box and hands him the box which weighs more than he thought.

"Better look the part of a groom." She smiles. "That and I'm lazy."

They go to a ring where there are two jumps in the centre and a load of horses milling around.

"This bit is boring." Ann states smiling and sitting on the box shuffling along enough that he can sit next to her.

He watches Brendan riding Max around the ring at various paces for a long while then nods to Ann who gets up.

"Stay here it can get a bit tetchy." She says and he sits while Ann goes to one of the jumps and talks to a few other people before the fence is dropped a couple of holes and Brendan jumps it. As soon as he's clear another horse jumps it and another. Then there's a break and Ann puts it back up.

He sits watching. Ann comes back after Brendan has jumped a few more times.

"He's tenth in."

It doesn't take long until it's Brendan's turn and Ann hands Brendan his jacket then leads him by the hand up to the side of the arena and into a few seats that have been cordoned off.

Nerves rise and he can't stand completely still are Brendan starts towards the first fence.

It's different in real life seeing it. There are sounds he hadn't heard on the TV, like the beat of the horses hooves on the ground and it's breathing, snorting really. The way the horse holds it's breath over the fence then snorts it out on landing.

The click of the horse brushing a pole. He inhales sharply as a pole rolls a little but stays up.

Brendan goes clear... He's proud of him. It's strange how watching him in his element even doing something he doesn't fully understand can make him smile so much.

Brendan jumps down and Ann starts walking Max down through the arena towards the stables but turns off before she gets there.

"That was good."

Brendan nods a little.

"Thought that pole was going to come off. Didn't realise that it's this stressful watching. Heart in my mouth."

Brendan gives him a curious look.

"You don't mind watching?"

He shakes his head. He doesn't. He doesn't mind watching Brendan at all… He wants to watch him, he wants him to do well.

It becomes clear there's a lot of waiting around, Brendan takes him back down towards the stables but instead of going in he takes him into another ring then goes to speak to another rider and he sits on the box again. He gets bored after a while.

Ann takes him up to the side into the seats again while Brendan warms Max back up to show him the jump off course. Watching it live as it happens horses go so much quicker than he thought over the fences. One rider gets it wrong and ends up in the fence. She hit the poles so hard it must have hurt but other than clutching her ribs and giving herself a few minutes she collects her horse off someone who had caught it and offers Ann a wry smile on the way out.

He didn't realise is was dangerous. Well he knew riding was dangerous but he hadn't seen anyone fall off before.

Brendan is in next and now he's seen someone fall off the nerves are even higher. He doesn't want Brendan to get hurt.

Brendan and Max go off hard and keep getting faster and faster, twisting and turning…

"You're a mother hen." Ann snorts at him.

"What?" He frowns.

"The look on your face, the way you keep holding your breath." She smiles warmly at him, amused.

He shrugs. He can't help it.

Brendan leaves him to talk to someone else and Ann walks Max around the arena closer to the stadium a bit. He sits on the box and tries not to let himself get too bored.

"Okay?"

"Lot of hanging around isn't it."

"Yeah." Brendan agrees. "There's loads of people I only see when I'm here."

He frowns at the apology in his tone.

"Don't worry about that. I know you're working it's more the time in between."

"Yeah might want to bring a book tomorrow if you're coming."

"Do you want me to?"

"Not seeing much of me are you?"

"I get to watch you…" He shrugs. "It's not that bad."

"You don't have to you could spend the day with your kids or…"

"I want to if that's alright?"

"Course." Brendan replies.

"Results." The speaker goes off above them. He feels Brendan tense. "First 187. Second 191. Third 141. Forth 170. Fifth 201. Sixth 138." Brendan wraps a hand around his neck and kisses him openly a little sloppy, pulls back and smiles.

He frowns.

"I won."

He kisses Brendan and smiles at him.

"Thought Alice had me beat." Brendan says getting up as Ann brings Max back up towards them smiling and patting Max's neck.

He watches the presentation from the side of the ring with Ann. Brendan gives him a wink and smiles even though Max is refusing to stand still. Brendan pockets the rosette and an envelope and tries to get Max to stand while he's photographed with a trophy. Then he canters around the arena as the crowd claps.

He walks the course with Ann for the next class Brendan is in and the fences are so much bigger, one of them even gets to his chin.

Ann explains a couple of names of fences to him. A vertical which is one fence. A spread with is two fences that have to be jumped as one which are apart and the front pole is lower than the back. An oxer, a spread but the poles are even, a tripe bar which is a spread of three fences that have to be jumped together not to be confused with a triple combination which is three separate jumping efforts as Ann puts it. She seems to be really putting herself out to make sure he understands things.

With two horses in the same class he assumed that it would be different but all that happens is that Ann rides one to warm up and Thea leads one around the lower warm up area and Brendan talks to people.

He tries not to get too bored in between chatting to Brendan, Brendan jumping and Ann talking to him, and Thea offering him a packet of midget gems.

Amy rings and says that the kids are bored, even Leah is all horsed out.

He walks up to Brendan who's talking to a women, who must be a rider given her attire.

"… I didn't think that he'd sell him but turns out that money still talks. Shame he was a good horse for the team."

"Sorry. Brendan I need to get going, kids are tired." He states.

"Gemma this is Steven Hay, Steven, Gemma Marney, we've been jumping against each other since we were about sixteen."

"Nice to meet you." Gemma offers her hand.

"And you." He shakes it.

"Gemma I'll catch you later." Brendan says excusing himself.

"Sorry."

"It's a long day for them." Brendan says sounding disappointed.

"You going home tonight?" He wonders.

Brendan nods.

"Can I get a lift?"

"If you want."

He nods and rings Amy.

He can barely watch the jump off he's got himself so nervous for Brendan especially after Ann tells him the prize money just over twenty four thousand euros for winning.

What he didn't realise when he asked to get a lift is how late it would be when they got back. He's half asleep while Brendan drives them. Thea and Ann chat in the living area of the lorry which is small but has everything he could think off. Beds. Fridge. TV. DVD player. Cooker. Toilet.

"Nice thing about being this close to home is not paying stabling costs. And getting to sleep in my own bed instead of up there." Brendan taps above his head.

"You sleep in here?"

"Yeah, saves hotel bills." Brendan shrugs.

"It's alright." It's in better condition than his flat.

They all laugh and he frowns he doesn't know what's so funny.

"Say that after two weeks living in it."

"Can't be that bad." He says.

"It really is there's only so much of Brendan's aftershave I can take."

"It's your body spray that stinks the place out." Brendan bites back.

His listens to Ann talking about when they'd been on a trip to England with his head against the window. Five weeks on the road going to show after show and Cheryl had put some milk in the fridge.

"… So we've all been eating from the show ground hadn't touched the fridge and there's this smell. We open the fridge which was a big mistake and honestly it was nearly cheese it was so badly off and this was three weeks in, couldn't get rid of the smell no matter how had we tried so for two weeks we had to find alternate places to sleep basically bed hopping or stay in here even that bloke I picked up at the party with the two breaks in his nose and the tiny cock was worth it. It took a steam cleaner and a bucket of bleach to stop it stinking in here."

"Cheryl still bitches about it." Brendan mutters.

"Yep every single time we go away."

He's pretty sure it's been all the fresh air that has him so tired.

"Steven." Brendan is shaking him awake, he blinks up at him.

"Home?" He frowns.

"You're at mine. I tried to wake you but you told me to fuck off when we got to the road ends. Better to let sleeping dogs lie and all that."

"Worried I was going to take your arm off?" He rubs his face.

"Thought had crossed my mind. Come on."

It was pitch black dark.

"Horses are all in their stables, fed and watered. Time to go to bed."

"Lead the way."

"You know the way."

"So?"

Brendan laughs at him and ruffles his hair wrapping an arm around his shoulder and kissing the side of his head.

"Those trousers you wear…" He says as he's pulling his t-shirt over his head.

"Breeches." Brendan states. And he frowns at him. "Never read Pride and Prejudice?"

"Amy made me watch the film once."

"What about my breeches?" Brendan asks pulling the covers up.

He walks around the bed until he's behind him. Brendan turns to face him.

"Skin tight. Almost as good as naked, but not quite."

He pushes Brendan to the bed and falls with him. He has the upper hand for all of five second before Brendan rolls them and presses him into the bed and kisses him hard. Kisses him until his chest is burning and he's sucking oxygen almost straight from Brendan's lungs. He arches up and groans as Brendan wraps a hand around his cock and uses the pre-come to slick the movement. He bites Brendan's bottom lip as he comes.

Brendan thumbs it. The skins not broken. He sits up a bit and gently kisses it as an apology. Then kisses his neck, his chest, his abs before kissing the tip of Brendan's dick sucking the pre-come and savouring it on his tongue, he wants more. He licks from base to tip watching it twitch in fascination. He takes the head in and works down, Brendan groans and rubs his fingers through his hair. He looks up to watch him, slides his mouth up and down while looking up at him and Brendan groans tenses and comes hard he swallows it down, keeps sucking until Brendan hisses and pulls at his hair to get him up and off.

He crawls up the bed. Brendan pulls him down onto his chest. Hands on his back.

He hears the thud of Brendan's heart calm, his breathing slow.

Too deep, too fast.

He's dead dropped straight to the bottom.

He kisses Brendan's chest, Brendan shuffles in his sleep and pulls him tighter to him.

He's fallen in love.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for your reviews.

Dublin show day 1 and a bit of day 2 Brendan's POV...

* * *

He hangs his jacket, breeches, stock and shirt on the hook just below his bed in the wagon. He checks the stock pin is in it case in the jacket pocket. He'd bought it at a show in England when he'd lost his good one and since he'd won a class he had no right to win he'd kept using it. He's not superstitious he's been in the game too long for that but there's no harm in having something familiar.

He drops down out of the living area and onto the yard.

"Did you put the domes in the stud box?" He asks, he knows she has, she always has everything they need but he has to ask.

"Box is standard for grass and I've got all the others in the big box that we keep in the lorry." Ann replies with good nature, she's used to him fussing before they go, as she leads Minnie up the ramp into the lorry.

Thea is holding Max and Bean waiting for Ann to come back to put them in and secure them.

He goes to Nico's stable and brings him out, double checking that the travel boots are secure. Last thing he needs is to get to the show and find one of the horses lame as they come out of the wagon.

It doesn't take long to load them up. All of the horses are so used to being loaded and travelling that they behave themselves even Minnie who hasn't travelled quite so much, but she hadn't been difficult to load even when they'd first introduced her to the idea of walking up a steep ramp into a dark confined space. Some horses don't mind, some horses are an utter nightmare. He's already working on just how much earlier they're going to have to start the next day to get Jim in because he can piss about refusing to even step on the ramp some days, others he just walks straight in… If he has a bad load then it can take half an hour more… That's tomorrow though it's today he's got to worry about.

Ann takes Nico and loads him shutting the partition and making sure that his rope is secure. He helps lift the ramp and lock it in place.

"All set?" Cheryl asks coming out of the tack room with cup of tea in hand. "Well good luck." She kisses his cheek. "And don't forget to bloody text me I hate not knowing how it's going. Actually Ann please if you wouldn't mind since I know you'll have his phone."

"Like I don't have six hundred other things more important." Ann replies.

"See you later." He gets into the cab and drives them off towards Dublin. Ann and Thea get themselves into the beds above the cab and the horses respectively since it's a two hour drive and they'll be on their feet rushing around all day.

For all he loves jumping in his home city, the traffic is a pain. He would have set off an hour earlier but the day is long enough. He follows the directions to the lorry park and gets them parked up.

He goes and confirms his arrival with the officials who allocate him the day stable numbers and he goes back to Ann who already has the back of the lorry down and Nico, Bean and Max unloaded, Minnie is just coming down the ramp with her as Thea holds the others.

He hands the paperwork to Ann who huffs a bit about where the stables are and helps take off their travel boots leaving them on the ramp. He makes sure that all of them are sound and haven't taken any knocks in the lorry then leads Minnie up, following Ann and Nico while Thea waits at the lorry.

A couple of riders say morning as well as a couple of grooms. He knows just about everyone who is in the stable block.

Ann takes off the travel rugs and takes them back down to the lorry. Thea leads Max up with Ann while he gets the first couple of saddles and bridles.

It take nearly an hour to get everything they need up to the stables including some of the hay from home.

He gets changed in the lorry before heading up to the ring to walk the course for Minnie's class. There's nothing much to it. A couple of bright spread fillers that she won't be bothered by he's got more shocking ones in the arena at home. It's not complicated. There's two combinations which both walk true. The jumping shouldn't be a problem just impressing the judges.

George Green captures him to talk about the chances of a horse that's small going on to make a top level jumper which is his none to subtle way of trying to get the price down on Minnie. She's fifteen three and still growing, true enough she's not going to make more than sixteen one and that's small these days for the top flight but she's got springs in her heels, a real power that's excited him from the first time he tried to walk her over a pole on the ground in the arena and she'd cleared it by about three foot, time will tell if she's got enough spring for the top end but he's hopeful another couple of year and he'll find out. Loose jumping when he's had her on the lunge over big fences without a rider certainly has him hopeful...

He knows that George's daughter is looking for another horse to bring on to build up her string so that when she gets out of young riders she has a couple of better horses ready to go. He's not selling Minnie though, if he sells her there's no guarantee that the new owner isn't going to turn around and take her to another rider. He wants to keep her, it's expensive paying for her himself, all the entry fee's, the feed, the bedding, the rugs, he's lucky that he's made enough that he can afford it at this stage. A few years ago he would have been forced to sell her because he didn't have the funds then.

She jumps a lovely clear, controlled and neat except for giving the spread a foot of air which she can't be marked down for. She's seen it and just gone big over it.

He's happy that she made the final and the nearly four hundred euro's he wins for coming first pays for her entry fee. Any prize money he gets from the final can go towards he general keep.

Peter is talking to Ann about Minnie when he manages to get away and back down to the stables.

"She's a show off just like her mother." Ann kisses Minnie on the nose.

"Ah graced by your presence." Peter smiles. "Good start."

"Thank you."

Peter is telling him about Bass, the little things that can make all the difference like he turns sharper on his left and can snatch for his mouth just before a fence, that it's better to just let Bass get on with things rather than get into a fight about it.

He hears his phone vibrating and see's Ann answer it while Peter continues.

"Ste's here." Ann states. "Missed a call earlier. I better go get him."

He's been trying not to think about him all morning, trying to stay focused on the job in hand.

Ann steps into Max's stable and checks that Thea has him spotless and puts the quarter markings on. A little thing that she does with all the horses, puts the plastic sheet with the markings onto Max's rear and wets the brush a bit and brushes the pattern on.

"Thea get his boots on and his studs in." Ann says. "Right I'll go and get Ste."

"Who's Ste?" Peter asks changing the subject.

He hesitates. A man that he'd happily spend the rest of his life with but he's not sure that Steven would want to live this lifestyle.

"Ah, got yourself another fella." Peter smiles. "Fresh meat is he? Don't know anyone called Ste on the circuit, never mentioned him before."

"Haven't known him long, this is his first show."

"First? As in never been before?"

He nods.

"Shit mate that wasn't a good idea with Eileen was it although she wasn't a good idea at all being a woman and all… Look at me what happened to me and Jill. "You should just marry your horses and have done with it, they're who you really love" direct quote from when she left me."

"She didn't leave you because of the horses she left you because you were knocking off Claire." And Jill had ridden when she was younger. She wasn't a complete novice when dealing with them.

"My point stands."

"Which was?"

"If they aren't on the show circuit then they aren't really in your life."

"Thank you for those wonderful words of wisdom."

He sees Ann and Steven walking up the row talking. He blows out a breath. He really is beautiful.

"Oh, it's serious, Christ never thought I'd see the day. You're fucked mate."

He knows he is but he doesn't care.

"Found one very pretty young man." Ann states interrupting the conversation.

"Didn't get too lost did you? This place is a maze. I'm Pete by the way." He got a feeling that Peter's going to be a nightmare all show badgering him about Steven. "Brendan I'll see you in the ring. Nice to meet you Ste."

"Hi." He looks a little nervous. A bit unsure about being here. It's understandable, it's a strange environment for him.

"Hi yourself." He kisses him. It worked to calm him down the night of their first date so he's hoping that it works again.

"Ready for this?" He's not sure he is. "Being bored out of your mind."

"I was watching you last night it wasn't boring."

"Watching me?"

"Jumping in some show in London… Olympia or something."

"You were watching me?" Steven had sat down and watched him and didn't find it boring...

"Yeah thought I'd give myself a crash course in Show jumping."

He didn't think that Steven would do that. He can't believe that Steven's taken an interest.

He appreciates Ann walking the course with Steven it allows him to think about the angles he wants to take to fences. The one things about the main ring in Dublin is that it's big and that makes it a try test of speed and skill. The first round course has a tricky long two or short three stride combination, with Max he's pretty sure he'll get both… It's a spread on the way in, vertical on the way out. Max tends it over jump spread which would leave him further into the middle of the fences than if he jumped it true. It'll be two and he'll have to make sure that it is two because if Max lands short, short by his standards at least there's every chance that the vertical won't be standing up right. There's a brilliant white oxer which is the biggest fence on the course, nothing like going full tilt at a fence like that. He's already seen the plan of the jump off course and that fence stays by it's self a long way from just about everything else, the test is getting there quickly but being able to get the horse back onto it's hock so it can spring up, if the horse is going too fast it will jump flat and take out the front rail or take off from too far back and take the back rail. It's wide too, he can't really afford to make it any wider by taking an angle. He has to get Max straight to jump it, he can't whip off the corner and take a flyer….

He loves speed classes. The challenge isn't like the big classes, the huge fences, even in the jump off he has to make sure not to push too hard because the course takes so much jumping but on a course like this where Max can clear it easily there's only his mistakes that can cost them. He's the one giving the directions, dictating pace although Max can be very strong and take a good hold.

He likes Max in an American Gag for the tighter turning courses, indoors it's a given that's what he uses and Max goes well in it. The Dutch gag gives him the control but he doesn't need to worry as much about his hands. They're both strong bites, in the wrong hands sever like any bit, but Max can be a tank when he wants to be, when he's going fast… Dutch Gag second hole, less strong than the American.

He decides to warm Max up himself. Usually it's Ann's job while he talks to various people but he wants to check that he's made the right choice of bit and Ann can't tell the way he can because she isn't as strong as he is. Max doesn't go the same for her, he takes the piss a bit knowing that she hasn't got the strength to pull him up. She usually rides him at home in a Pelham where the curb chain can stop him running through her hands.

He sets away with his well worn routine.

Max gets away with a flick coming out of the double. It was his fault he asked for the turn in mid-air in a pre-run of the jump off and Max was caught off guard, responded too quickly too sharply. But they hadn't paid the price and now they're through he can concentrate on really stepping it up for the jump off.

"That was good."

It was alright.

"Thought that pole was going to come off. Didn't realise that it's this stressful watching. Heart in my mouth."

He wonders if he really means that.

"You don't mind watching?"

Apparently not.

He keeps an eye on the number of clear rounds as well as the quickest time. Max is good enough, quick enough to win this but if there's prize money begging because everyone's gone for broke he does think about possibly just sticking in a clear and picking up the money.

It doesn't happen. There's more than six clears… All or nothing. He may as well.

He talks to people he hasn't seen all year. Breeders. Owners. Riders. He gets the run down on just about everything that's happening everywhere. From which Breeders are dealing to where these days. He asks a few about horses that might become available and whether they would consider him as a rider for them. He has a good reputation for bringing on young horses, Minnie winning her class adds weight to it as well as the fact that Jack won the same class three years before. And the horses that he had broken and brought on for Grant and William. He's had a fair few through his hands that have gone on to do well, they hadn't had that something about them when they'd been on the yard that had meant he asked to keep the ride. He'd done the ground work and handed them back to be either offered to someone else or sold.

He's in the collecting ring waiting to go in.

"Jenny took out the oxer trying to get a stupid angle. She said yes, horse said fuck off and planted her in it." Lennon, Alice's groom states walking her horse past him.

Alice and Munster are a good combination. Muster is almost as quick as Max but he isn't quite as quick turning and that's where he knows he'll make the time.

He winds Max up, gets him going, lets him know it's a jump off with a few transitions from halt to canter. He dips his hat at the judges and sets a strong canter, strong enough that Max is eating the ground up but not jumping flat but Max is really jumping well so he lets him go faster.

It's an adrenaline rush. The feel of the horses power, the sound, the gasps from the crowd, it never gets old, never fails to get his heart racing.

He's pretty sure that he's done enough but it's got to be between him and Alice. There's not much let to come. He and Max had already beaten every horse going in at some point although those had been different courses and sometimes it's the course that makes the difference.

He gets down off Max and lets Ann make sure he gets cooled down.

Alice, Ben and Jenny all capture him for conversations before he can make his way back to Steven who has sat himself back on the tack box. He looks lonely and it aches at him. He's enjoying himself and Steven's stuck out of the way because he can't help Ann or Thea and he can't talk horses.

"Okay?"

"Lot of hanging around isn't it." It is. There's no denying it. There's a lot of time between his rounds but he fills it in with catching up. Ann and Thea look after the horses and making sure they're alright.

"Yeah. There's loads of people I only see when I'm here."

"Don't worry about that. I know you're working it's more the time in between." He doesn't sound upset with him. He half expected him to.

"Yeah might want to bring a book tomorrow if you're coming."

"Do you want me to?"

"Not seeing much of me are you?"

"I get to watch you… It's not that bad."

"You don't have to you could spend the day with your kids or…" Maybe Steven doesn't realise that it'll be the same tomorrow and the day after and the day after, all show. It's the same thing everywhere he goes. The location changes, the courses changes, which horses he's riding change, some of the people change but everything else remains the same. The waiting around is pretty much constant.

"I want to if that's alright?"

"Course." If Steven wants to be here he's not going to stop him.

"Results." He tenses and waits for the numbers. Waits to see if he's pulled this off. "First 187." He wraps a hand around Steven's neck and kisses him.

"I won."

Steven kisses him with a proud smile on his face. It might just be his favourite of Steven's smiles, maybe the sexy little innocent one comes close.

"Thought Alice had me beat."

Ann's delighted as she always is when any of their horses wins. The money isn't bad either. Four and a half thousand euro's.

He walks the course for the Classic which is a proper grand prix course only a shade lower than World Cup courses. He's having a punt on Bean clearing it but Nico should go well.

Bean clears it which is a little surprising, he doesn't touch a pole. Not even in the vertical in the middle of the triple combination which is usual weakness.

He stands to the side of the warm up ring and chats away with Gemma about Casing the Irish team horse that had just been sold to Saudi Arabia for one of their riders for a touch under two million euro's because the owner just couldn't say no to that kind of money.

He's still in line for a spot. He really needs Des back to stake a claim. That's a good few weeks off.

He can't believe Steven asks for a lift rather than going home. He had to be bored by now but he stays.

He manages a double clear on Nico that's good enough for third and Bean gets sixth. Which totals prize money of four thousand euro's of which he will personally get one thousand from the owners although he'll see the rest of it for the horses keep.

Steven doesn't even seem too fussed by waiting for them to load the lorry, he even carries a few saddles down for them and waits in the lorry while they load them up.

* * *

He let's Steven sleep. There's no need for him to be up this early. Ann was already down stairs, cup of coffee in her hands, bread in the toaster.

"Which classes have you got today?" Cheryl asks yawning and pouring herself a tea.

"Speed Derby on Nico. Speed stakes with Bean. See if I can get them into the Speed championship with Max on Sunday."

"God I love day two." Ann states leans against the counter. "Late start."

Still all normal yard duties to be done before they leave though.

"Makes up for tomorrow." He states. Today they can leave after nine. Tomorrow the first class is at eight which means leaving the yard at four so they've got time to get set up before Jim's class starts.

"Don't talk about that." Ann moans.

"Did Ste turn up?" Cheryl asks.

"Certainly did." Ann gestures at the ceiling.

"Really?" Chez's face lights up like she's just won a grand.

"Walked the course, watched every round. Held his breath at every fence."

He frowns at that, he didn't realise he had been so into it.

"So he enjoyed it then?"

"It was one day Chez." He needs to give them some perspective. It was one day and it had been a novelty he knows how quickly that can wear off.

"Still." She smiles at him.

He rolls his eyes and pours himself a strong coffee.

"Thea already down the yard?"

"Haven't been down yet… But I'm going right now." Ann states taking her toast with her mouth and leaving.

"He's nice." Chez states.

"Oh God." Hungry or not he's getting out of this conversation. He goes towards the door.

"Wait Bren." He pauses. "I know you don't like to talk to me about men or whatever, I mean Ann has far more experience in that area, she's slept with half the straight male population for a start… But I just want to say that I really like him and I know you do, so what are you going to do?"

"Do?" Play dumb and get out of it.

"He's going home soon…"

"Chez." He can hear footsteps on the stairs.

"Morning." Steven says wiping at his eyes and striding to the kettle between them, like he lives there, like he's not a guest which he's never really considered him anyway.

"Up before nine. This is new." Cheryl teases.

"Yeah, well I haven't got any clothes for today have I. What time are you leaving?" Steven says standing next to him.

"About half nine."

"Have you got time to run me up the house?"

He takes Steven up and waits in the car, he's quiet, he's hoping that it's just because it's early and not because he's reconsidering coming to the show, he insists he's just tired but that's never stopped him talking before…

When he pulls back into the yard Ann's waiting for him.

"Nico's lame."

"For fucks sake. Bad?"

"Front fore, a bit of a hole in the sole."

"You better be fucking joking?"

"Don't fucking start with me." Ann snaps.

He strides down the yard, Ann gets ahead of him. Thea's holding Nico on the hard standing. He runs his hand down Nico's leg from shoulder to hoof and clicks at him to pick it up. Ann's obviously had water and a brush on it as the soles clean. He see's it. A little hole. No telling how deep it is.

"What's happened?" Steven asks. He realises where Steven is a split second before Nico pulls his hoof free and pushes into him but he had his shoulder into Nico's shoulder to stop him knocking him over. Steven isn't so fortunate he watches as Steven gets knocked to the ground as the horse swings his quarters, Nico panics kicks out catching Steven in the ribs then swings back the other way. The whole things last no longer than five seconds…

Shit. He gets him under the arms and pulls him away in case Nico get's even more spooked.

Steven's curled in on himself.

He can't get Steven's hands off his chest to have a look at the damage.

"I'm fine." Steven coughs.

"What were you doing?" He demands. It could have been worse, so much worse… All it would have taken was for… He's can't help but be angry. Steven nearly got himself seriously hurt because he was in the wrong place. The fact that Steven doesn't know better is not helping.

"Brendan." Ann says soothingly.

"No if he doesn't know he shouldn't be here." He should have sent Steven straight to the house, he should have been watching out. He shouldn't have been more concerned with Nico than Steven. He shouldn't have been thinking about getting the vet down for an x-ray to make sure there's no metal in the foot. He shouldn't have been wondering how much poultice they had left in the first aid kit or how long Nico's going to be out if it's infected. He should have made sure…

"What's your problem? I'm the one that got kicked." Steven stands up clutching his ribs.

"You stood at his back end, someone he doesn't know. You weren't watching what he was doing. And you were around his back feet, he's an animal he just reacted. What did you expect?" Steven doesn't know because he doesn't know anything about horses.

"Brendan go and get a poultice and bring me a couple of bandages. Now." Ann states, glaring at him from Steven's side.

He takes the opportunity to walk off some of his anger, his fear that Steven could have been in hospital or worse…

He pulls the first aid kit out of the cupboards under the kettle in the tack room, next to the much smaller human one. Pulls out and cuts a length of poultice from the rectangular sheet and another, cuts them into rough palm sized squares, finds a plastic tray from under the cups, fills it with near boiling water letting the water soak into the white material.

He sighs and leans against the wall waiting for the pads to cool down enough that they're hot but not too hot.

Steven walks in and sits on a bench at the other side.

"I shouldn't have shouted at you."

"Ann said you were just worried." Steven shrugs and winces.

"Let's have a look at you." He drops to his knees in front on him and encourages Steven to hold his shirt up. There's a purple bruise a half moon shape with a scuff from the shoe already formed. He tries to be gentle as he presses to check his ribs. There's nothing broken.

"He just clipped you." He gently covers him back up and sits next to him on the bench.

"Hurt."

"Yeah I bet it did." He wraps an arm around his shoulders and kisses the side of his head. "I've got to take this to Ann."

"I'll stay in here. Safest place for me isn't it."

He closes his eyes and blows out a breath. It hurts that he's hurt Steven, that his anger, his words hurt him. But maybe it was time for him to stop believing that Steven could ever live on a yard. That he could ever be happy around horses.

It doesn't take long to get Nico's hoof bandaged up so the poultice can draw any infection out. He leaves Thea with strict instructions to keep an eye on him and change the poultice after a few hours and make sure he doesn't pull it off or that his shoes don't cut through the bandage. He might get Walker to come and take the shoes off if there is a bad infection. It'll be easier to keep the dressings in place. If Nico doesn't come sound in a couple of days he'll ring the vet for an x-ray as it is all the horses are up to date with their vaccinations so there's no need for a tetanus booster. It's happened before usually when a horse is in the field, they stand on a stray nail or a sharp stone and it punctures the sole.

Cheryl sits with Steven in the office as the tack room is taken over by the holiday guests. He knows that the lads shaken up. He can't blame him for not wanting to be around, out in the yard as it gets busier, people start getting their horses out and preparing to go for rides.

Ann gets Bean ready and loads him up.

"I'm not coming." Steven states as he gets to the doorway.

He didn't think he would. Getting kicked is enough to ruin anyone day.

"I'll drop you off at the house." It's on the way.

"Cheryl's going to give me a lift." The rejection stings.

"Okay." There's not much else to say.

He drops into the driver's seat with Ann next to him and sets off to Dublin.

* * *

A/N: Here's a tiny little excerpt of the next chapter...

"Ste it was your suggestion."

"I know but..."

"You don't have to."

He looks at the thing. It's blatantly going to try and kill him. It's just biding it's time...

"Yeah I do."


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for reviewing.

Since I've gotten most of what I was going to post written today I've decided to do two updates in one day seemed a shame to leave this where is was at the end of the last chapter. Shorter chapter but I hope the content makes up for that.

Ste's POV

* * *

His ribs ache. Brendan said he got clipped but it hurt like a bastard. Cheryl sits with him handing him a couple of pain killers and a cup of coffee while Brendan and Ann work on with Nico.

"You were just unfortunate love. Happens to everyone, properly not quite like that but I've lost count of the times I've been stood on."

It's not salve to his pride.

"Yeah but he was dead mad."

"Brendan shouts when he gets scared… Or when he's in one of his moods. I swear some days you're lucky to get a grunt out of the misery guts."

Ann had said something similar.

"He really likes you, he doesn't want you to get hurt."

"You think he likes me?" He's pretty sure that Brendan does like him. He acts like he does, it's just nice to hear it. It would be better coming from Brendan though.

"Yeah, course, he's never been like this about anyone before. Honestly our Bren is besotted with you. Not surprised he hasn't told you. Keeps his cards close to his chest… I reckon it's cos he doesn't want to get hurt."

He nods a bit. He can understand that.

"I was trying to tell him this morning that he should tell you how he feels…" She puts her hand on his thigh. "You like him too."

He takes a breath which has his side aching.

"More than like." He may as well admit it. He'd only come to terms with it himself this morning, sat in the car with Brendan beside him not being able to imagine not being beside him. Trying to work out just what that meant when he's on holiday and in another country… He's never felt like this about anyone ever.

"Stupid though we've known each other a couple of days." He scrubs his hair. It's not long enough.

"You don't believe in love at first sight?"

"That's lust."

"Nothing wrong with a bit of that." She smiles and gives him a wink. "There's someone for everyone as my ma used to say. I think you're for Bren."

"Really?"

"Defiantly. He's happier than I've ever seen him when you're around."

He's happier than he's been in a long time with Brendan around… However much he loves his life, he's never felt as… He feels like he's himself, he doesn't have to pretend with Brendan. He can be who he is and Brendan likes him anyway.

"It's all this though…" He likes Brendan, loves Brendan for who he is and all of this around him that's part of him that he doesn't get and he needs to because he knows that Brendan's not giving any of this up and he doesn't want him to. "Will you help me?"

"Help you?"

"Learn not to be in the way. Be useful."

She frowns at him then smiles.

"If you want."

"Today?"

"Thought you were going with Brendan?"

"I was but… I don't want to go if I'm a spare part."

Brendan comes to the door.

"I'm not coming."

"I'll drop you off at the house."

"Cheryl's going to give me a lift." He states. If it doesn't go to plan Cheryl can take him up.

"Okay."

He watches Brendan walk over the yard.

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Cos if I'm shit at this you're not saying a word to him about it right?"

Cheryl goes into the yard and talks to a couple of girls, then Thea then comes back.

"That's them lot sorted."

He sits at Brendan's desk as Cheryl talks and talks about horses, everything and anything, she keeps going off on tangents but he tries to stick with it. And lets the fact that she keeps repeating that it takes time to learn, that she's been around horses all her life and she's still learning so not to get frustrated.

"Right lets put the theory into practice." She says and practically drags him across the yard to a stable. He looks over the door at a white horse that's eating away at a hay net like he hasn't got a care in the world. "This is Polo, he's one of my horses I keep for beginners. He's got the patience of a saint."

He gets a bout of anxiety as Cheryl opens the door.

"He's not going to hurt you. Nico didn't mean to he just got spooked. If you do as I say you'll be absolutely fine."

He nods and steps inside.

She teaches him how to put on a head collar, how to lead him. How to pick out his feet, brush him. Polo does all of this without batting an eye lid if anything he seems completely disinterested except when Cheryl pulls out a packet of mints and hands them to him teaching him how to offer it. Polo licks his hand. It's a bit gross. He wipes it off on his jeans.

"What's he doing?" He asks frozen as the horse sniffs his pockets. He tries to get him off by pushing him away a bit.

"It's alright. He's looking for more sweets." Cheryl replies easily.

"I haven't got any more."

"He doesn't know that, he can smell the wrapper. Just say no more."

"No more." Polo sniffs a bit more then gives up.

Polo's not so bad. He quite likes him, he's being nice to him, not kicking or biting or spinning around or doing anything other than what Cheryl or he asks of him.

"Can I have a ride on him?" That's got to be the next step. He's got to understand why Brendan enjoys it so much.

"If you want. Let's put him back in the stable, have a bit of lunch and I'll show you how to tack up."

"So how come you don't go to the shows?" He asks as they walk up to the house.

"I don't really like the competition side of things. I'd rather ride for pleasure. Bren's the one with the competitive streak. He's mellowed a lot though. Winning used to be everything when he was little but when he got into horses he learnt that it's not always possible to win, that sometimes just the performance matters, getting to that level of class and taking part matters. I love to watch him but it's his thing, this yard, running the riding holidays and taking groups out and just riding is my thing. I'm going on Saturday. It's usually the best day of jumping anyway."

He makes himself a sandwich while Cheryl has a yogurt part of her healthy diet. She tells him about Nate. They met when she'd bought a horse from him.

"He travels all the time, selling horses in England but he's back a couple of weeks a month. It's enough. I'm busy here anyway."

After they've eaten what turns out to be a very late lunch, Cheryl makes him change from his trainers into some boots insisting that he can't ride in trainers, that he has to have a heel on his shoes so his foot can't slip too far through and get stuck then takes him back down to the yard and shows him around the tack room. The numbers under the tack correspond with stable numbers. Brendan's tack has a wall to itself. All of Cheryl's tack for all her horses is along the back wall and all the holiday makers who bring their horses with them have the shortest side wall.

"All the benches have tack in them, just about anything you could want. All the spare bits, loads of different nosebands, half bridles from all over the place." She says, lifting one up and showing him the mass of leather. "We don't keep spare saddles. They're too expensive." She adds. "You need a hat." She takes out a tape measure and wraps it around his head. "Think you'll fit into something." She opens a box up and searches through it. "Here."

He pulls it on, it feels pretty tight at the sides but loose at the back and front.

"It should be snug but it shouldn't be pressing on your temple." He lets Cheryl check it, lifting it up and down watching his brow. "Think you're a jockey skull shape." She takes the hat off and pulls another one out. That one feels better. Weird but better.

"Right this is Polo's tack." She lifts it off and hands it to him.

She shows him how to put all the tack on. The bridle is by far the weirdest, getting the horse to open it's mouth, it's tricky to get into position but Cheryl shows him again and it's easier second time round.

"Let's go to the arena it's getting late." She teaches him how to lead with a bridle using the reins.

He thought it was a good idea. But standing on the sand of the arena with Polo standing in front of him. It's not looking like such a good idea. Butterflies rattle around his stomach.

"Ste it was your suggestion."

"I know but..."

"You don't have to."

He looks at the thing. It's blatantly going to try and kill him. It's just biding it's time...

"Yeah I do." He wants to understand, this is the best way.

"When up get up lean forward onto his neck a little and then sit up and watch your man bits."

"Man bits." He laughs a little.

"Hand on the saddle like I showed you."

He puts his foot in the stirrup which seems a long way to stretch up in his jeans. It's a lot of effort to get up and he gets a sharp pain in his ribs. He gets what she means about his genitals as he gets on.

It's a weird sensation sitting on a living and breathing animal. It looks a long way down.

Cheryl shows him how his feet should be in the irons, adjusts the leathers a little and how to hold the reins.

"Right I'm going to keep a hold of him so he's not going anywhere that I don't want him to."

He nods. His hands tighten.

"Relax."

He tries his best.

"Grip with your knees. We're just going to walk."

She leads him. The movement is strange, like nothing he's ever felt before. He feels a bit unsteady.

"Sit up straight, eyes forward look between his ears, your head weighs a lot it's key and use your core to keep your balance." Cheryl advises.

There's a very clear rhythm to it.

"If you want to turn right you pull the right rein a little, not a lot, feel this pressure I'm putting on your hand through the rein you use not more than that okay." He listens but there's not way that that's enough to turn an animal this big. She knows what she's talking about. It is. He smiles a little, then slips to the side a tiny bit which is enough to re-focus him.

"Good."

She walks him around the arena a few times. He concentrates on his balance and not falling off, tries to get accustomed to the movement.

"What have we got here?" Ann's standing at the gate with Brendan who looks completely stunned.

"Thought I'd see what I'm missing." He states.

"To stop. You pull both reins together same pressure as before." Cheryl says and he does. Polo stops. "Okay take your feet out of the stirrups, both of them. You're going to swing your right leg over, and slide down bend your knees when you land or you'll get a shock."

Brendan comes up to the side of the horse and helps him down gently.

"Dead weird that." He smiles. It feels like a little victory.

Brendan shakes his head at him and kisses him hard.

"What was that for?" He asks a little dazed.

"Being amazing." Brendan replies and kisses him again.

"For the love of god will you two get a room." Cheryl mutters. "Ste Polo needs to be put away. Can't just go joy riding and not put in the hard work."

He takes his hat off.

"Uh." He didn't realise he'd been sweating. He scrubs at his hair. Brendan kisses him again gently then hugs him. "Ow, what the ribs." He complains.

"Sorry." Brendan immediately pulls back taking his hat and stepping away.

Cheryl hands him Polo's reins and he leads him down to the yard, Brendan stays at his side smiling, and shaking his head every so often.

"What?"

"Didn't think you'd be here when I got back."

"And fuck me didn't he sulk about it." Ann chimes in.

Brendan holds the door for him to walk Polo in.

"You two disappear. Ste is my pupil and I'm going to teach him how to take tack off. He doesn't need anyone groping at him." Cheryl says firmly. "Haven't you got horses to see to?"

Brendan and Ann rolls their eyes and walk away Brendan holding on to the door a few more seconds looking at him then tapping at it and smiling.

He beams at Cheryl who smiles back.

"Think you've made his year." She says then teaches him how to take all the tack back off.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for reviewing.

Brendan's POV...

* * *

"Will you stop sulking for the love of god?" Ann moans at him.

"I'm not sulking." He snaps.

"You're acting more like a toddler who's had his toys taken away."

"Steven's not a toy."

"No, he's not he's got feelings."

"I fucking apologised for shouting at him." He growls and Steven had accepted it.

"So?"

"So why didn't he even accept a lift?" Why did he stay in the yard with Cheryl instead of just accepting his offer.

Had he ruined everything? Could he ruin things that easily with him? He didn't really know Steven and that's the first time he'd really shouted at him and he seemed alright with him when he'd apologised but he doesn't really know him and he doesn't know that he's a miserable bastard most of the time and he's grumpy, it's just the way he is but he doesn't mean half of the stuff he says when he's angry… He didn't mean to hurt him… Maybe he's too used to being around Ann and Cheryl who take everything he says with a massive pinch of salt when he's angry…

"Maybe he didn't want to put us out we are running late." That's not it. Steven didn't know they were running late…

"Well if these fucking people learned to drive." He exclaims. The car in front was barely touching thirty on a sixty stretch.

"Shouting at them isn't going to make them speed up."

"No but it makes me feel better." He admits. Makes him feel like he's doing something… Takes his mind off who he really wants to shout at, who he's really annoyed at… Himself…

Ann rolls her eyes at him.

He manages to get them there with half an hour to spare. He checks them in and takes Nico off the class list.

The course was closed by the time he gets dressed and to the ring. He leaves Ann to get Bean ready while he watches a couple of rounds to learn the course. He checks the board and traces the route with his fingers makes sure he knows it. Years of leaning courses on the fly have taught him to memorize them quickly and effectively.

"No Nico?" Peter asks as he goes back into the collecting ring.

"No." He doesn't want to talk to anyone this morning he walks straight past the other riders and down to the far corner watching Ann put Bean through a warm up.

He needs to get his mind off Steven and his fuck up and if he can fix it, the idea of not fixing it just doesn't come to mind because he can't bare things between them to end like this even if it's what Steven wants, if they're going to part he wants it on good terms… He gives himself a mental slap and gets himself back on the job in hand.

"You can call him when we get back." Ann states like she can read his mind. Properly can the amount of time they've spent together.

He gets onto Bean who immediately starts prating around like he always does, it's like he can sense that he's about to jump and winds himself up, he grits his teeth in frustration and tries to relax in the saddle and keep his legs off him so not to make him worse.

Bean rushes the practice jumps, wants to be at them and he has to spend the rest of the time he has preparing him to jump by calming him down and getting him back into his hands.

He knows when he goes into the ring side ways that it's not going to go well that it's going to be a struggle. Bean refuses to wait, refuses to listen after three fences he gives in and lets him go, it's not worth the fight it only makes Bean worse, the fences are smaller than the day before which is the only reason he manages to get away with it.

"He's high as a fucking kite." He states as he jumps down. "Get him on a loose rein and try and get him to relax."

"Come on you nutter." Ann pats Bean's neck as she walks him down to the lower collecting ring.

The jump off has a lot more sharp turns but also a couple of long canters and really it's not what he wanted to see. He wanted a more technical course so he could keep Bean back on his hocks there's nothing he can do. It's set. He watches a couple of rounds, looking for where others have seen a line, considering which can possibly work for him.

He gets back on Bean ten minutes earlier than he would normally, just wonders him around and he seems calm enough but as soon as he shortens his reins and starts to warm him up it's back to hyper. He keeps his temper in check, if he loses his temper at him he's going to get worse, he lets his shoulders drop a little, takes the pressure off the reins and sits with his legs off and lets Bean get on with it, winding himself up, grinding his teeth and swishing his tail.

Bean refuses to walk forward up to the ring insisting on going backwards, Ann gets a hold of the rein and leads him up. He salutes the judges quickly gets Bean moving small turns to get him listening until the buzzer goes and he can start. He puts in some seriously tight turns over the first couple of fences which has Bean switched on in his hands and he stays there, listening as he goes about the rest of the course. The increase in height has Bean respecting the fences, it makes all the difference.

It's good enough for third. He looks around at the crowd clapping and cheering… It had felt so different the day before with Steven there watching him. All these people and he only wants to see one and he's not there…

He helps get all the gear back in the lorry and gets changed back into his jeans for the drive back. He looks at his phone on the dash.

"Will you just ring him for fuck's sake?" Ann mutters as they get out of Dublin. Trust her not to miss the way he keeps looking at the phone.

"And say what?"

"Try Steven I'm hopelessly in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I was a prick this morning but then I usually am. You are the light of my life please forgive me for being an arsehole."

He glares at her.

The closer to the yard he gets the more he feels it. He's not going to be there. This is what it's going to be like without him. Driving home and it not feeling like home anymore because he's not there.

He sighs heavily. He's going to have to get used to it. Steven isn't going to want the life he has to offer him…

He helps Ann lower the ramp so she can put Bean away. He goes to see Nico.

"I put on a plastic boot I found." Thea states coming to the stable door. "The bandage keeps ripping and the poultice coming off without it. He seems happy enough, he ate up and he's drinking."

"Good. Chez about?" He's been waiting for her to jump on him and ask how it went since they'd driven in. She wouldn't be out with a group this late…

"She's in the arena."

He pulls the lorry back around the side parking it up so that Ann can load it tonight. With an early start he knows she's not going to want to load it in the dark. It's back enough loading the horses up.

"Seen Cheryl? I can't find Jim's stud guard." Ann asks.

"Arena."

She falls into stride beside him as they walk up.

"If you ring him he might come down." Ann states.

"Who says I want him to come down?"

"You've been pining all day."

"Have not."

"Have too." She smirks.

"What are you five?"

"Brendan lying is a sin, lying to me is just plain stupid." She stops. "Is that who I think it is?"

Steven. Steven riding.

"What have we got here?" Ann calls across.

"Thought I'd see what I'm missing." Steven states. He can here Cheryl giving him instructions slowing Polo up to a stop.

He never thought… He can barely believe his eyes.

Ann elbows him in the ribs.

"Go and help him down."

He steps onto the sand around the front of Polo as Steven takes his feet out of the stirrups and prepares to slide down. He catches his hips in his hands to help him down.

"Dead weird that." Steven smiles at him and his stomach flips.

He can't believe that he's here, that he's been riding, that he'd do that. He can't speak, can't tell him what that means to him he kisses him instead.

"What was that for?" Steven frowns at him.

"Being amazing."

"For the love of god will you two get a room." Cheryl mutters. "Ste Polo needs to be put away. Can't just go joy riding and not put in the hard work."

Steven unclips his hat and pulls it off.

"Uh." Steven scrubs his hair making it go everywhere and he's so beautiful. He kisses him again gently and hugs him. There's a chance that he's not going to have to let him go. "Ow, watch the ribs."

"Sorry." He'd forgotten, got too swept up in the whirl of emotion. He takes his hat off him as Chez hands him Polo's reins and Steven starts walking down to the yard. He stays at his side, can't seem to stop smiling, can't believe he's here.

"What?"

"Didn't think you'd be here when I got back." He admits.

"And fuck me didn't he sulk about it."

He can't bring himself to glare at Ann he doesn't want to look away from Steven.

He holds the door for him to take the horse back into the stable and watches him. He's a very obvious beginner, still a little out of place but that doesn't matter to him because Steven has shown him that he's prepared to learn, that he'd do that…

"You two disappear. Ste is my pupil and I'm going to teach him how to take tack off. He doesn't need anyone groping at him." Cheryl says firmly. "Haven't you got horses to see to?"

He rolls his eyes at Chez's tone, teacher extraordinaire. He taps at the door.

Ann beams at him as they make their way to the inner yard.

"If he'll go this far I don't think he's not just on a holiday romance."

He knows, he hopes.

He makes sure that all the hay nets are full and checks that Thea has done all the yard duties that were misses because of Nico's injury which she has.

He fills the hay nets for the next day and helps Ann load the lorry with tack and watches Ste leading Polo out to the field with Chez coming back with a smile on his face and chatting away.

"We're going up to the house." Chez states as they pass.

"Ste cooking?" Ann asks.

"How did you lot survive without me?" Steven asks smiling. He doesn't seem to mind cooking for them even though it's his holiday…

"We spent a fortune on take away from the pub." Ann replies.

"You need any help?" Chez asks.

"No we're nearly there."

Steven's already got the pans on by the time they make it back to the house.

"Didn't realise riding hurt your arse." Steven states as he's stirring. He stands next to him can't bring himself to go and sit down, wants to stay close to him. Admire the view.

"Not surprising you haven't got much meat on it." Ann replies helping herself to a carrot and tapping Steven arse as she goes back to the end.

"What do you think?" Steven asks.

He frowns.

"About what?"

"My arse." Steven smiles coyly.

Chez clears her throat and glares at him daring him to say anything that's inappropriate in front of her and after what she had done today for him, he changes his mind any other day he'd have her covering her ears and pulling disgusted faces.

"I think I've made my feeling about it very clear."

Ann laughs.

"How'd you get on today?" Steven asks reaching around him for the salt, he takes the opportunity to take his hips in hand and pull him closer, feel the tingle on his skin of him being this close, the heat rising in his bones.

"Third."

Steven smiles and kisses him.

"Well done."

"Wasn't bad." He got something better out of today.

He leans forward and kisses him, let his tongue play over his and puts his hands around and down until they're resting on the top of his arse.

"Brady stop man manhandling the chef." Ann states.

"Don't think the chef minds. Do you?"

Steven shakes his head at him and smiles.

"See." He kisses him again.

"How long for the food?" Cheryl asks.

He breaks the kiss a little enough for Steven to reply.

"About ten minuets."

"Say twenty the way these two are going on." Ann states.

"I'll go and do the long round."

"I'll do it." It's his responsibility. He looks at Steven and bites the inside of his cheek. Contemplating if he should… He'll regret it if he doesn't…"Come with me."

"What about…?"

"Come with me, Chez can finish it off." He wants to do this right. He just wants it to be him and Steven.

He waits for him in the court yard with nerves jangling in his stomach. He's got to do this. Steven follows him.

"Where we going?"

He can't reply. He walks up the side and to the top of the banks of the arena and sits down looking around in the dusk at everything that he has and everything he wants to share.

"Bren?" Steven sounds nervous as he pulls his legs under him and sits next to him.

"I've got something to ask you and it's…" Huge. Life changing if he goes for it. He takes a breath and exhales sharply to try and settle the butterflies.

"What?"

"I want you to stay."

"It's an early start anyway I've already talked to Amy and she's taking the kids out for the day anyway… Bitched a bit at me for not spending much time with them while we're here but she's alright about it really."

"Steven."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not talking about tonight."

He looks confused.

"I want you to stay here with me." He still doesn't seem to get it. "I've never met anyone like you, I mean you're amazing and… I know that we haven't known each other long but… I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you for your reviews.

I was a bit unsure how to take this forward, I had a couple of options but I went with this one hope you like it.

* * *

He wonders if he made the right choice, when the dark nights come, when it's bleak, freezing cold and he's so tired he thinks he'll sleep forever only to find he can't sleep… When his mind fills with possibilities, of the could have been's and should have done's…

He wonders if Eileen was right when she pulled him at the rider's dinner on the arm of another rider who she had met, who she said knew how to treat her, and explained to him exactly what Brendan was like who Brendan really cared about, asked if Brendan had told him what it was actually like, the week apart, that what was on offer was actually nothing but a prison... That Brendan would never be there, that he would be off gallivanting around all over the world and he would be left behind, in the background, in the dark, left to wonder…

He wonders if Vinnie had been right at the rider's party when he's told him that a man like Brendan would never want to settle down and pointed out every single person Brendan had fucked, which seemed to be three quarters of the men around, including the married ones, the straight ones that had been experimenting. Vinnie said that the circuit was boring, it was all the same outside the ring and therefore everyone tried to distract themselves with excitement that just about every young man who had come onto the circuit had found themselves in Brendan's bed at some point…

He sighs into his hands and looks around a bit tries to shake the feeling that he could have had something so different, a world away from where he is now.

He had been right in ways he hadn't imagined, he was wrong in so many others…

"Ste where are you?" Chris calls.

"I'll be down in a minuet."

"Time waits for no man."

He rolls his eyes sighing.

"Then stop wasting your time shouting at me and go make a start."

He hears the door click shut.

He shakes his head, sighs and grabs his jeans off the floor.

Two years… Two years, four months, five days ago today he had made the biggest decision of his life…

He pulls on a jumper, it's not even light outside, he bets it's still snowing, still blowing a gale… He's really not in the mood for it, it can just fuck off, cold fine, snow fine, wind no. He pulls out another pair of socks, he can't remember where he'd put his second set of thermal ones, they're properly in the wash, he sighs and pulls out a pair of woolly long ones. He picks his hat up off the side where he'd thrown it just before crawling into his cold bed the night before.

He hasn't got time for breakfast, not even coffee, those extra precious moments wrapped in his quilt had been worth it.

He pulls on a black fleece and his jacket, checks his gloves are still crammed in his pockets in amongst a load of wrappers.

He looks out the window, the snows abated, the moon reflects off it, it's frosty… He sighs pulls on his boots, takes in the warmth of being inside before he steps out in to the cold, it almost knocks the wind out of him. His cheeks start to tingle before he even has the door shut. Breath billows out in front of him, the winds dropped to nothing overnight. His feet crunch in the mix of the fresh snow and the hard of the more compact older snow underneath.

"It's all frozen up again." Thea states as she comes out of the hay shed with a couple of hay nets.

"Fucks sake." Carrying water is the last thing he wants to do. "Got enough for the time being?"

"Yeah maybe when Brendan gets back…" She stops before she can finish.

He knows he's scowling.

There's plenty of things that Brendan's going to be doing when he gets back and taking a blow torch to the drinkers in the old block isn't on the list.

Brendan was meant to be back two days ago after three fucking weeks away but the weather had made travelling hazardous, he and Ann were stuck with the lorry in Liverpool, or rather Newmarket until it was safer. A friend of Brendan's had offered some stables for the horses and a roof over their heads until they could travel.

He goes into the hay shed thankful for the lighting and that he bothered to get the buckets laid out the night before, he opens the feed bins, checks the names on the buckets and starts putting the morning feeds up, it reminds him of cooking only the ingredients are various mixes of course mix and supplements. He knows them by heart. Which horse gets what without the list that Ann had stuck up for reference. Everything written down in glorious detail so that if there's ever a doubt it can be checked.

The supplements have to be measured just like spices, sprinkled in and mixed thoroughly together. He slices carrots in as a finisher.

He stacks the buckets according to which stable will be last on each trip. He lift four and takes them out into the inner yard. They're all waiting for him, heads over the doors illuminated by the lighting behind them that spills out across the yard making it easy to keep his feet. Minnie grunts a little neigh at him and knocks her foot against the door.

"Pack it in or you'll be last." He states, not that she knows what he's saying, he's learned that it's not what you says it's more how you say it.

He drops the buckets down next to Crackers stable and pulls his rubber bucket off the top leaning into the door with it so he can pull the catch and slips inside pulling the door too behind him.

"Wait." He states as Cracker practically assaults the bucket in his arms, he turns slightly to get a bit of distance before putting the bucket down. While his heads down he slides his hand up his neck grips the top of his rug, pulls it forward to make sure it's not rubbing. He pulls a glove off with his teeth, slides his hand down until he reaches Cracker's ear, gently wraps his fingers around the base and checks that he's warm enough. Makes sure there's still water in the big bucket that they're using because the drinkers keep freezing up.

He gives him a quick once over to make sure he's not knocked himself and the stables as he expects, no sigh of anything off. Ann had explained it to him one day, walking into a stable and just knowing something is not right, knowing a horse, they're habits, knowing without looking too closely that a stable is normal for that horse whether that's a big indent where it's been lying down or the banks of shavings being found in a pile in the morning, a messy stable, a tidy stable, each horse has it's own way.

He feeds the others, makes sure they're all warm, have water, enough hay and are generally alright before heading down into the main yard.

Chris and Thea are already starting to rug the horses to go out into the field, changing them from soft stable rugs into the waterproof turn out rugs. He goes into Polo's stable, feels around in his pockets for a spare sweet and gives it to him before changing his rugs over, pulling his head collar on and leading him down to the field.

He loves watching them when they're first let out in the morning, the fresh snow makes it more entertaining, especially the younger ones, Bullet is the best, as soon as his head collar's off he's trotting around, then he stops rolls around a bit, heaves himself back up, shakes himself then shoots off at full pelt bucking and squealing, which usually sets Lotty and Glynn off too. He walks down between the two fields they've been using and checks the drinkers which are frozen over he picks up the hammer next to the trough, knocks off the little snow on it and breaks the ice, lifting the bigger chunks out with the side of the hammer and the tips of his gloved fingers, sighs with relief when the drinkers splutter. The added insulation he and Jackie had wrapped around the pipes the previous day when the temperature had risen just enough for the ice to give a bit paying off.

He needs another couple of round bails brought down. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and puts a reminder in to text Mr Holden son, James, the farmer who sells them the big round bails of hay down for the field feeders in a couple of days and arrange him to bring a couple more down.

There's a text off Cheryl. A picture of a beautiful beach, bright sunshine and her toes at the bottom.

Merry Christmas from paradise xxx

Nate had whisked her off on a holiday in Australia, three months into the six months they're travelling around for, at least she's found time to rub it in. He smiles a bit. She'd rang him the other day to tell him it was hitting 35 degrees and moaning about being too hot and to check that her horses were alright. He'd replied that it was minus five and his toes were about to drop off and to stop worrying about her horses, to enjoy herself and get a tan for him.

It didn't feel like Christmas, it felt like any other day. He was doing the same things he'd been doing since Cheryl had gone and he'd taken over running the yard with the help of the others. He was the boss though, Brendan left him in charge. He was making sure the bills were paid and the horses were fine. Talking to owners. Filling in entry forms for shows and sending them off when Brendan wasn't here to do it himself. All decisions when Brendan or Ann weren't here went through him, in fact he'd noticed that he was making more and more decisions when they were. He was running the holiday riding business for Cheryl although at this time of year there wasn't much doing, it was mostly bills to keep the horses over the winter months.

When she had showed him what he needed to do, he thought he was in over his head but once he got his head around it he could easily manage it although it would be easier still if he could just run both yards together inside of constantly having to make sure that he was paying out and into the right account.

Chris and Thea have started mucking out and he joins in. He hated it when he learnt how to do it and he still hates it now, but it's got to be done, with the three of them all pitching in it's finished quicker. He and Thea skip out the stables in the inner yard while Chris fill the hay nets for later.

"Water now or later?" He asks for their opinion. He'd rather get it over with. So would they. He fills the buckets from the tap inside the coal house then takes his turn to carry the water down to the inner yard. Puts the buckets down, opens the door, takes the buckets in, closes the door, carries the buckets to the corner and fills the big bucket. And repeat. It's hard work but given that the day before they'd had to carry buckets down to the fields because the drinkers wouldn't fill he'll take it. That had been knackering, his arms had felt like they were going to drop off, his back had ached so much he thought he was going to snap in half. The wind had nearly blown him over, the buckets had knocked into his legs and splashed on him, his jeans had been like cardboard when he'd gotten in…

He offers to make everyone breakfast as soon as they're done and they all pile in to the house. It's strange not having the phone ringing, emails to respond to, horses to exercise but it's Christmas so it's a day off. Funny how his days off used to be doing nothing, now they're just doing less.

He cooks sausage sandwiches for them all.

"What time's dinner?"

"Three ish." He knows they want to go to the pub although the roads are a bit of a state so that plan may have changed. He'd volunteered to make Christmas dinner for everyone. It was his first Christmas on the yard, the year before he and Brendan had spent it in Manchester with Amy, Tim and the kids. Boxing day getting home and the day after Boxing day with Declan and Padraig. This year was meant to be him and Brendan at home together, with the team but together especially as they'd spent so much time apart this year.

He'd tried to enjoy the show circuit. Stuck it out a year before the constant travelling, the constant grind had worn him down. It had been exciting at first travelling, seeing places he'd never been before meeting new people but it seemed like they were never still, and even if they were a thousand miles away from the previous show the same faces were present. A show could be five days or it could be two, even one then on to the next one or back home if they needed to for a couple of days. Although as soon as they were back it was the rush to get ready for the next show. He seemed to spend two days just washing clothes and straightening the house up.

It was Brendan's passion and he loved watching him, still couldn't help but hold his breath at every fence even after watching more rounds than he'd like to count, the swell of pride when he did well but it was a grind. And he'd finally had enough when Brendan had been called up to the National team to jump in Germany a day after they had driven back from Spain. He'd buried his frustration beneath the pride and happiness that he had felt for Brendan realising his dream of representing his country, he was proud of him, so happy for him but it gotten to him in a way that he couldn't brush off.

He wanted to be at home, he wanted to feel like he had a home not just a place that he did the washing in and happened to have a few more clothes than the lorry. He didn't mind the lorry, it was comfortable but it was small and cramped with three of them even if Ann didn't always sleep in there, gave them time alone... It shouldn't have mattered, he should have been happy to just be with Brendan, he was… But he felt less like his lover, his boyfriend and more like his secretary with each passing show as people got to know who he was, answering Brendan's calls, it hadn't taken long before Ann had suggested that he deal with the owners because he was usually free to answer the phone. He'd done it and found that he quite liked most of them and he knew more about the plans for each horse because it was constantly in and around conversation than he even realised. Which had turned into him doing the entry forms because he knew which shows and which classes each horse was doing. It took pressure off Brendan and it helped Ann…

It wasn't Brendan's fault, it wasn't his but constantly being together had put a pressure on them both, there was no space, no room. It was all about the horses, all about getting to the next level, making it, getting the best out of every horse, every round. He felt like if he said anything that he was getting in Brendan's way to the top, like he was going to hold him back, make him unhappy, so he kept his mouth shut and tried to keep his head down but it just wasn't him. He wasn't that person. He'd never been able to keep him mouth shut for long.

He wanted his own life, a life with Brendan but not Brendan's life.

He'd gone to Germany, he'd been the good boyfriend, good stable lad, he'd gone to the snotty party put up with Brendan schmoozing his way around the room which he knew Brendan hated doing but he had to. It was what he had to do to get the contacts he needed, kept his name in people's minds.

He'd barely said two words all evening, it was the same shit just a different place so hadn't felt the need to speak, which had started an argument on the way back to the lorry, which had gotten nasty on both sides and had ended with him getting a taxi to the airport and the soonest flight to Manchester alone. He went to see Amy and the kids, she had moved with Tim not long after he had moved to Ireland, there were no ties to Hollyoaks for her without him.

He'd cried so hard it felt like he'd never stop into her shoulder. He loved Brendan, loved him more with every passing day, wanted to spend the rest of his life with him but he couldn't stand to even be in the same room as him.

"You need something for you." Amy had said in the morning when he'd calmed down.

He had five missed calls from Brendan and seventeen from Ann. He rang Ann back.

"I'll be back in a few days." He had sighed once he had explained where he was.

"We'll be in Ulster." She had the good grace to wince enough that he could hear it.

"I know. I'll be at home." The schedule of events seemed to be lodged in his brain. He knew every show that was coming for the next six weeks and the ones pencilled in for the next six months without even having to think too much about it. He knew more about where Brendan and Ann would be than they did.

"Please tell me you will though, I don't think I can put up with him if you're not coming back?"

He heard Brendan demanding the phone off her.

"I'll be at home when you get back." He'd stated firmly.

"He's going out of his mind, thinks that you don't love him anymore." He managed a smile at the sound of Brendan swearing at her for daring to say that…

"I'll be home in a few days and I'll see him when he gets back… I just need a break and tell him, tell him… I'll never stop loving him."

"He wants to talk to you…"

"I'll see you both when you get back, just tell him."

"I will."

He spent a couple of days playing with the kids and being by himself, got a brief taste of life without having anywhere to be. But he did have somewhere to be.

Cheryl had hugged the life out of him as soon as he'd stepped out the taxi. Fussed over him for hours like she could make everything alright between him and Brendan by her own sheer will.

He'd gotten sick of it pretty quickly, needed a bit of time, he tacked up Polo and taken him off on a ride down the fields to the cliff tops, got off and let him graze while he sat on the grass and looked at the sea, the waves crashing. He loved this place. It was so different from anywhere else. It was where he'd chosen to be, he'd given up everything, his job, close contact with his children to live here. He wanted to live here.

When he'd gotten back, untacked and put Polo back out into the field he'd driven straight up to the pub a couple of miles up the road and asked if there were any jobs going in the kitchen. Mrs Hayes had offered him a month trial immediately, a couple of days a week.

He'd been standing at the kitchen counter on the phone to Mr Friars about the classes that Des has coming up which had turned into a general chat about her grandkids and the cheeky little Shetland pony she had bought for them when Brendan had walked in. He'd wrapped up the call as quickly as possible while Brendan leaned back against the other counter, cross his arms and stared at him.

"I'm going to stay here."

Brendan had nodded slowly.

"I've got a job a couple of nights a week, I'll help Cheryl out and I'll still be the point of call for the owners but I'm not travelling to every show anymore…"

"Anything else?"

"Yeah…" He moved across the floor and kissed Brendan hard, knocking a groan out of him, he pushed himself back. "I missed you."

He missed Brendan terribly as he had struggled to get used to being at home with only Cheryl for company at night but when Brendan was home it was better than ever between them. There was no taking each other for granted, the easiness returned between them, the fun came back. He still went to the occasional show and really enjoyed them again. The novelty returned and he spent his time catching up with people who he hadn't seen in ages and enjoying the show atmosphere again, noticed it again after so long being unable to because it was constant.

Spending time at the yard helping Cheryl he'd been able to practice his riding more, get better, stronger, he'd started really putting the effort in so he could ride out properly. He enjoyed it. He loved the freedom it gave him, the adventures he could have, he'd spent days riding around going out with the groups learning the routes. He started riding other horses, any of Cheryl's were fine, he could only ride Minnie and Jim from Brendan's string and only if Thea was with him. Jack was too flighty and unpredictable.

When Cheryl had announced she was going on the Australia trip she had asked Jackie, a woman from the village down the road who had helped out on and off when Cheryl needed her if she would come on board closer to full time, she worked flexi time really, as much as she could manage around her kids. Jackie was a wealth of knowledge and experience.

Chris had started working for Brendan mid-summer as a work rider / groom after falling out with his previous employer after divorcing his employer's daughter. Pete knew him and recommended him. With more horses in his string Brendan needed another strong rider at home to keep things ticking. Chris was a very good rider. He had also been around a bit and realised that he was never going to get to the top himself, he'd gotten over his bitterness apparently and now just wanted to work with horses. He's a decent bloke, a good laugh most of the time, all the women in the village had fallen at his feet but he was still nursing a broken heart which made them all swoon more.

He'd had to give up his job at the pub when Cheryl left. He had to be on the yard. He had Thea and Chris to cook for most nights anyway since both of them were hopeless. Brendan and Ann as well when they were back…

He slams his knife down on the chopping board making the carrot jump. Places hands either side of it and bows his head.

"They'd be back if they could be." Thea says.

He exhales sharply. He knows he's been that obvious since Brendan had rang and told him that it was looking unlikely they'd be able to get back.

"I know." He's just really fucking misses him.

"Come on mate it'll lift in a few days." Chris adds handing him a beer. "I'll stick the fire on."

It's warm enough without the fire being on.

"Should really do presents." He sighs. He wonders over to the tree he had pulled out of the loft and set up. He'd made a massive effort to get the place looking as festive as possible, not just for Brendan but Amy was coming over with the kids in a couple of days if they could get over in the bad weather, they might be able to make it, he sighs. He wanted the house to look good for them too.

He hands their gifts to them. Not much but their Christmas bonus was already in their bank accounts so this was just his token of thanks for helping him out so much. He'd already bought for Jackie, her kids and her husband and given her them before she had taken the Christmas holidays.

Thea holds up the necklace that she had admired so much at the jewellery store in Dublin. Brendan hadn't been bothered by how much he spent as long as it was from both of them. He stayed within reason.

She kisses him on the cheek.

"Mate you shouldn't have." Chris states holding up a bottle of twenty year old whiskey and smiling brightly. That one had been Brendan's choice when he'd suggested it.

Thea rushes out the house and returns quickly with pink cheeks and hands him two gifts. A new set of measuring spoons which was a sort of running joke between them after his last set, and the set before had ended up down the stables in the feed room much to his annoyance along with a new chopping board and a thick jumper in the other.

"Thanks." He looks under the tree at the gifts he had gotten for the kids, Leah, Lucas, Declan, Padraig, he'd even bought something for Eileen just some chocolates but it was more than Brendan was planning on giving her when they, he hoped, they went up to see them on New year's eve. Amy and Tim's gifts as well.

Chris and Thea try and keep his spirits up helping him in the kitchen. Chris makes vodka jelly for later. Thea helps wrap the sausages with bacon.

They watch a kids film with the fire blazing as the smell of Turkey fills the air.

He lays the table for the three of them and puts out far more crackers than really needed. They all groan at the jokes inside then settle down to watch the Bond film.

As soon as the credits roll they get up and go back outside getting the horses in from the fields, putting them back in the stables changing the rugs back, checking the drinkers are still working in the main block just in case.

He makes sure that all the horses are settled for the night before going back into the house and into a drinking game to Die Hard DVD. Thea knows all the rules and has them knocking back far too much.

By the time Thea and Chris go back next door to the staff house as everyone called it he wondered back down the yard and did the night check. The cold sobering him up far too much for his liking. Brendan hadn't even rang him, all day he's had to ring him and just wish him a Merry Christmas, hell just a "is everything okay? All the horses okay?" would have done, he didn't even need to ask how he was, that might have been too much to ask. He refuses to ring him.

He turns off all the lights, fairy lights the lot and lies himself out on the sofa with a couple of cans of larger and watches Fight Club he can't bare going to bed alone not tonight. It's meant to be a family day, his boyfriend is in another country along with his kids. He finishes off the vodka jelly.

"Steven." He groans and turns over. He frowns at the huffed laugh. Sounds like… He's dreaming. Lips pressed against his neck and the pressure of fingers in his hair. "You going to wake up?"

He turns over so quickly the room spins. He opens his eyes and closes them again against the bright room. He has to open them again. He caught a glimpse, that's not enough.

Brendan crouched down next to the sofa, looking like the best thing he's seen in weeks, since the last time he had seen him. He wraps his hand around the back of Brendan's neck and pulls him into a filthy kiss. He doesn't care that he properly tastes like booze, Brendan can deal with it. He's been deprived of this for too long. He pulls Brendan on top of him, groans in his mouth half hard already, he pulls at Brendan's coat, Christ there's far too many layers, he pulls at them, pushes at them he wants skin, Brendan's stubble grates on his cheek, breath hot on his skin. He pushes himself up and pulls his t-shirt over his head, the look on Brendan's face is priceless, the lust, the longing, he looks up and down at his torso then buries his face against his chest, sucks at his nipple until he arcs up, pressing at the back of his neck to get him closer, his heart beat thuds heavily in his ears, he feels fingers clawing at his jeans he lifts up as Brendan pushes them down then immediately swallows down his cock to the root, he bucks up, Brendan pushes down, throat fluttering.

"Fuck." He groans looking down as Brendan looks up, his cock between those wonderful lips as he draws up and flicks at the head, he throws his head back. "Fuck please…" He hears Brendan belt buckle hit the carpet then he's been picked up and turned over the back of the sofa, the first lick has him pushing back, Brendan's tongue licking long strips over his hole. "Fucking, fuck…" He cries out as Brendan pushes the tip inside… He knows Brendan loves this. Loves driving him insane, he lets him, takes everything that Brendan offers, every flick, every lick, pushing back for more. Nothing compares to this. He thought he knew sex then he'd met Brendan and everything changed, he'd never felt anything like what Brendan could do to him.

The first push of his cock is hard to take, but he forces himself to relax against the intrusion knowing that whatever pain he gets will be worth the pleasure that Brendan can coax out of him, he leans forward and bites into his own forearm as a release.

It's always like this after time apart, a couple of days or three weeks it's carnal, absolute want mixing with utter need, Brendan always gives him a couple of seconds, always waits until he pushes back before he starts fucking him, hard punishing strokes that leave him crying out, swearing, begging anything, anything to get over the edge… Brendan wraps a hand around his cock which he pushes into, Brendan will get him there, them there he knows he will, the pressure builds, the tension settles and blooms in his muscles building and building... "Come on Steven." The rumble of that voice, three hard, precise strokes, a hard bite to his shoulder, another thrust deeper, he can't hold back. His muscles shudder, he groans out between panting breathes as Brendan trembles against his back, leans forward and pants into the cushions.

Brendan kisses his neck, rubs stubble along his too sensitive skin then gently withdraws his cock.

"Really fucking missed you." He turns and buries his tongue in Brendan's mouth. He gets moved until he's lying on Brendan, head just under his throat, leg between his.

"Merry Christmas." Brendan states.

"It's Boxing day." The clock above the fire says it's five in the morning.

"Same difference. I'm here aren't I?"

"Need to get up in an hour." He mumbles, sighing.

"Think your boss might let you have a lie in?"

"Doubt it he's a bastard."

"Must have some redeeming features?"

He hums in agreement. Brendan strokes his back soothingly.


	10. Chapter 10

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Brendan POV...

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"He's going to kill me." He looks out the window. Still snowing.

"He's not going to kill you, but good luck getting your dick near him for a couple of days… Although that is death to you isn't it?" Ann sighed looking up from her magazine.

"Fuck off." He growls pulling the curtain back and slumping down into the sofa. He was meant to be home. The weather was meant to break enough earlier to get across to the ferry only it hadn't broken it had gotten worse.

The lorry was parked up outside. Des, Jack, Red, Mite and Nico all stabled up, all stuck here until the roads were in a better condition…

They'd left London heading to Liverpool for the ferry only for the wind to pick up and it become a battle just to stay on the road. A major pile up outside of Birmingham had settled it. He'd pulled into a service station and rang around tried to find anyone who could put them up. Ronnie had volunteered stables and a couple of beds. Problem was that Ronnie's was near Newmarket, back the way they came, the weather to the east was better though. Even so he'd found himself crawling, Ann's hands tight on the door handle as he navigated into Ronnie's yard.

He'd gotten the horses settled, thanked Ronnie and Vicky his wife for letting them stay. They were only too happy to help them out. Vicky had insisted it wasn't a problem, she liked to think that if Ronnie ever got stuck somewhere and couldn't get home that someone would do the same for him.

He was stuck in England and Steven was waiting for him…

"Go on." She stated.

"Go on what?"

"Get a flight… I'll stay here."

"I…" He'd been thinking about it, all afternoon since it was clear he wasn't going to be able to make it.

"Did that sound like there was any room at all for discussion? Go home… Vicky and Ronnie put us up I'm not inflicting you on them, not the mood you're in. Go now before the roads get unpassable."

"Sure?"

"Go." She dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

He has to ask Ronnie for a lift, hating having to put him out more. Ronnie is reluctant, he can't really blame him, leave the warmth of the house to drive on the ice rink the roads had become to take him to the airport, still he has to ask... Vicky bats Ronnie around the head with the paper, calls him an unromantic bastard, tells him to go get the land rover started if he doesn't want to be sleeping in the stables.

"You go and see your young man." She kissed him on the cheek.

He thanks Ronnie for the lift and tells him to ring if Ann gets to be too much trouble, that he'll be back in a couple of days when the roads are better to get her, the horses and the lorry.

He manages to get a flight to Dublin but not until Christmas Day. He promised he'd be home, a night in the airport waiting isn't a hardship, not if he can get home in time. Three weeks he'd been away. A week in France followed straight into London for ten days for Olympia.

He thinks about ringing Steven letting him know that he'd coming but as he checks his watch he knows that he'll still be in bed.

Their bed. He should be in it with him.

He couldn't believe it when Steven had decided to stay with him. Ran down the banks following him after Steven's silence had him thinking he had it all wrong, that he'd made a fool of himself. But he'd run after him told him he loved him too. He didn't agree to stay straight away. He needed to think about it, to run it past the kids and Amy, make sure they were alright about it.

Amy had come down to the show on the Saturday, walked straight up to him while he was in the middle of a conversation with Peter and told him in no uncertain terms that if he was serious about Steven staying with him, if he really did love him that he had to look after him and make sure he was happy.

He thought that Steven wouldn't stay until he did, kept it that way. He'd asked but he knew what he was asking and he knew it was up to Steven.

"I want to stay with you." Still the sweetest words he's ever heard.

He'd gone back to England with Steven, helped him pack up his things out of his tiny little council flat, watching him saying goodbye to his children had nearly broken his heart. Steven was giving up the entire of the life he knew because he loved him.

He promised himself that he'd be worth it, that he'd treat Steven right, that he'd make him happy.

Steven hadn't realised how much travelling was involved, he told him but it was different living it, he hadn't known anything about the show circuit, rankings, needing to do certain shows for qualification to bigger shows, the different classes and he was a complete novice with horses. But he had thrown himself into it in a way he hadn't expected, always wanting to know how to do things, be useful, always learning...

His eyes had lit up as they drove into Paris, Zurich, Madrid and just about every other city baring those in England he'd already been to… He had found his own enthusiasm for the cities return as he showed him the sites on when he wasn't riding.

He made sure that there was time to visit Leah and Lucas whenever they were anywhere near Manchester knowing how much Steven missed them.

He was impressed by how quickly, how seamlessly Steven had fit in, he learnt quickly made every effort... He became a one of the team, he hadn't realised at the time that was a mistake on his part, Steven wasn't a part of the team, Steven was his boyfriend who happened to help out, he was not a team member he happened to be fucking…

It had happened without him even noticing he was doing it, a side effect of being together all the time... Steven was there, he didn't mean to take him for granted… He hadn't meant for it escalate. He meant to make sure that he treated him right but they were busy, it never stopped... He hadn't meant to start barking orders at him like he was just another stable lad, hadn't meant to pile admin on him, when really he was… The love of his life, he wanted to smack himself in the face for being so ridiculously sentimental but that was what Steven was.

He loved him more than he thought it was possible to love anyone, the way he constantly talked away, his infectious enthusiasm, the way he moved, the funny little things he did and the sex was like nothing he'd had before and only got better even when he thought it couldn't, caring about him, loving him, knowing that Steven loved him back it broke barriers…

He'd been so happy when he'd gotten the call up to the National senior team that he'd almost missed the way Steven's shoulders sunk, he hadn't and he knew that he was going to have to stop kidding himself that Steven was as happy has he had been a few months ago.

He was on the senior team, he had his foot in the door with the selectors everything he had worked for his entire life. It was his break into serious recognition, serious contention for the European and World Championship teams, better sponsorship deals, more money... Jack was jumping better than ever, clearing everything, winning or getting placed in every class bar one for months, Des was flying, Nico was on a hot streak, the entire string were going well and he was getting offered more and more top horses, everything was coming together, at the same time he and Steven were falling apart…

He hadn't been able to help thinking that he should have stuck with his gut when it told him that Steven couldn't be happy on the circuit, he shouldn't have asked him to stay, he might not have had the months of happiness that he'd had but at least he wouldn't have been seeing what he'd seen now, what he knew would happen.

Steven had been getting quieter by the day, offering forced smiles, false enthusiasm, pretending he was okay, like he thought that he couldn't tell the difference.

He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything but the misery radiating off him, it burned a hole in him, he couldn't bare it. This was the end of the line. Thanks for the ride farewell, another few weeks or another few hours it didn't matter Steven was miserable and he couldn't watch it any longer.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" He'd demanded as soon as they were in the hire car to drive back to the lorry after another long boring formal party.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" He'd nodded. "Really? Nothing." He gave out a short bitter laugh.

Steven shook his head and looked out the window.

He forced it, he said things he should have never said, although there's so choice words coming out of Steven's mouth as well, bitterness, frustration fuelling the fire in both of them, they've both got temper's and they'd spent so much time together that they knew just were to aim to do the most damage.

When Steven had grabbed a bag of clothes and walked away into the night because he had told that if that was what he wanted to go he wouldn't stop him he thought it was over. Steven hadn't looked back even once, hadn't even paused, walked away. Despite Ann shouting at Ste to come back and at him, to sort things out, to not leave it like that, he'd refused.

Bruised, wounded and so angry that he'd had to force him away for his own good, so he could be happy, that he couldn't bring himself to apologise, he'd never wanted to Steven to hate him, he'd never wanted to hate Steven but he had that night. Walking away from everything they had together…

He woken up alone for the first time in a year, two months and three days, no Steven curled into him, no dopey warm smile, no teasing fingers, no soft lips... Even trying to convince himself that it was the right thing long term couldn't bring him solace, couldn't help but think it was a lie.

"You're a fucking idiot and he's a stubborn little twat." Ann had raged handing him a coffee while he sat at the table looking at his phone.

"It's for the best." He'd mumbled.

"Bollocks. Ring him."

He shook his head.

"Fine, you want to be a bastard then I can't stop you but he'd the best thing that ever happened to you, he loves you…" He'd winced because some of the things he had said made him doubt if Steven even did love him right now. "He does, you know he does… I'll ring him then, find out where he is, make sure he's alright."

He hadn't even known where Steven had gone, middle of the night in Hamburg, he'd guessed right when Steven finally answered his phone two hours after they'd started ringing him. As soon as Ann hadn't been able to get through he'd been gripped by worry, his heart clenched at the thought that maybe Steven wasn't answering because he hated him. Or worse that something had happened to him.

Amy's. Ann had mouthed to him and he'd sagged with relief. Then he started to get the feeling that Steven wasn't coming back, that there was no way back. That he was about to lose him.

He hadn't known what to expect when he'd walked back into his house two weeks later. Steven's bags packed? Whatever Ann had said, he'd started to think that Steven was only going to be at home to say goodbye. Cheryl said he'd been quiet since he'd been back, a quiet Steven was never a good thing. He wasn't prepared to beg, if Steven wanted to go back to England then he'd let him without argument.

He hadn't expected to find Steven lazing against the kitchen counter talking to Mrs Friars, looking beautiful and happy, like a weight had been lifted off him.

Of all the things that he thought would happen he hadn't considered Steven wanting to stay at home. Getting a job at the pub. He hadn't thought the solution could be that easy. He thought of how much Eileen had hated being stuck on the yard even if Steven had made the kind of efforts that she wouldn't have even thought about. He still couldn't imagine how it would make him happy but if that was what he wanted and he was going to stay even until he found that he didn't want to be there and there was no hope for them, he'd let him try anything he wanted on the hope that it would work…

He missed him not being there at his side but it gave them balance, space to miss each other.

Steven running the yard was difficult to get used to but he was good at it. He was organised and willing. Cheryl taught him stable management, yard management. And was so confident in him that when Nate had asked her to go on holiday, the first holiday she had been able to take in years without him committing to being on the yard, she had told him that Steven could run it, would run everything in her absence.

And Steven was alright with doing it so he didn't argue and found that he could relax just as much with Steven at the helm as he did when Chez was there.

Steven had done all that so that they could be together.

Which meant getting into Dublin at one in the morning Boxing day because of flight delays, bribing a taxi driver to get within five miles of home and walking the rest through the snow with only the moonlight guide his way because he had promised he would be home was worth every single step.

"This is good." He picks at the turkey leftovers and pops a couple of the little sausages into his mouth. He wishes that he'd made it home for the actual meal but this is good enough. He missed Steven's cooking. Everything always tasted better when he had made it.

"Thanks." Steven gives him a little smile and pulls his jeans on. "Where's Ann?"

"Still at Ronnie's." Steven padded across and switched the kettle on rubbing his eyes and trying to flatten his hair. He looked gorgeous, all soft lines, radiant. He pulled him close until he was standing with his back to his chest and wrapped a hand around his waist, kissing his neck and reaching for another sausage.

He heard the door click open and Chris brought the cold with him, Steven shivered a little in his arms. Goosebumps rising on his skin.

"Oh… Morning." He looks startled but not enough to hide the tell tales of a hangover. Apparently there'd been a fair bit of drinking going on. He didn't begrudge them that. It was Christmas. But more to the point he was home and had Steven in his arms again. He'd defiantly gone soft.

"We'll be down in a bit." He states. Chris nods and disappears out again.

Steven pulls away as the kettle clicks off and makes them both a cup of coffee and pulls himself up onto the bench. He can't help stepping in between his legs and kissing him gently… Can't touch him enough… Can't show him what he means enough.

Steven touches his cheek and frowns a tiny amount.

"You're knackered."

He hums a little. He'd been up nearly a day.

"Go to bed." For all he takes care of him, Steven takes good care of him.

"Coming with me?"

"Nope, I'm going to feed your horses." Steven kisses him quickly and squeezes down the gap between his body and the kitchen unit. So fucking lithe even now he has new muscle definition from all the carrying and lifting working on the yard and riding. Christ the grip of his thighs now…

"Won't be long." He's pulling on his jumper, jacket and hat, out the door. No stopping him.

He looks at the Christmas tree in the corner, the decorations, he can see how much effort he'd put in. The presents for the kids that Steven had bought because he hadn't had time. The pictures of them at various events on the mantel piece all with tinsel on them, pictures of them and the kids. Cheryl and Nate. Ann and Steven asleep heads together sitting in the lorry the night of the riders party in Berlin when they'd all been hammered.

He wonders upstairs into their bedroom which is a tip as usual when he comes back from being away. Steven can't keep it tidy. He's seen it worse though. The bed unmade. Clothes all over the floor. He smiles a bit and pulls himself some clean clothes out of the draws getting changed. Picking everything he can manage to carry and taking it back down stairs to the utility room and putting it in the washer.

He can see Steven walking across the inner yard through the arch with the help of the stable lights, buckets in hand.

He takes his coat off the peg, pulls on his boots and heads out into the cold.

"Thought you were going to bed."

"Sooner this is done, sooner you can join me." He has a look over Minnie's door to check on her. Pats her neck as she investigates at the sound of his voice.

"Morning boss." Thea says walking up from the main yard. "Glad your back. Ste is there a spare leg strap around?"

"There's a couple in the hay shed rug box, the blue one." Steven replies easily.

It catches him by surprise, it shouldn't but it never fails to astound him the way Steven has adjusted to running the yard. He knows where everything is, he's taken over from Cheryl as the oracle of where to find anything.

The dawn breaks as he helps turn out a couple of Cheryl's horses into the fields.

"Glad your back mate. Thought he was going to crack yesterday." Chris says as they walk back down to get the next lot to be turned out.

"He's been okay though?" He'd talked to Steven every couple of days while he was away but that had mostly been about class results, general yard business, plans for the horses and checking in about owners.

"Complete pro."

He nods swelling with pride because Chris knows that Steven's not been in the game long, knows what it takes to run a yard and is content with Steven as his boss, well deputy boss.

"You want your lot turned out in the top paddock?" Steven calls. "I was going to let them out in the arena later on when we mucked out properly."

"Tomorrow." He knows the plan. Turn them out let them have a walk around, clear the fluid from their legs from standing eating instead of walking around like they would in the field.

"We're back riding out tomorrow." They had only stopped riding out on Christmas Eve.

If Steven insists on letting them out he's going to be outside all day and he'd not having it. He may well be the one that insists that the horses come first, that work comes before play nine times out of ten, he may be the one that spends hours and hours on the horses because every minuet put in is worth it but he wants Steven to himself today. It's one day, they won't take any hurt.

"Chris, Thea." He states getting their attention. "Steven's off yard duties today. Okay? Good."

"Bren." Steven sighs at him.

"I'm the boss and I'm giving you the day off mucking out, these two would jump at this offer."

Steven looks to them, not him.

"Go on mate." Chris states.

Thea nods and smiles a little.

"Sure you don't mind?"

"They don't." He answers for them. Even if they do he doesn't care. He puts a hand on Steven's back and guides him back up the yard.

"Feel dead guilty leaving them to do all that."

Like he does when he thinks about Steven at home running the yard for him. Knowing the kinds of hours he's having to put in.

"I'll get some washing done." Steven says heading towards the utility room.

"You'll come here." He states lying out on the sofa, he was planning on going to bed but he can't be bothered with the stairs. He pulls him down on top of him and gets him to lie to his side with his head on his chest. He reaches for the remote and flicks the TV on. Settling them down to the contentment of being home and most of the day off.

He sleeps for a bit until Steven's wriggling to get the remote wakes him up.

He gets a jolt of vivid déjà vu as he runs his fingers through Steven's hair as he flicks through the channels.

"You ever regret it?" He asks keeping his eyes closed.

"Regret what?"

"Staying?"

"At five in the morning when it's pitch black, pouring rain, freezing, blowing a gale and I've got to get up. I hate you."

He smiles a little.

"But no I don't regret it."

"Sure?"

"Yeah, what's brought this on?"

He shrugs.

"Just want to make sure you're happy."

Steven pushes himself up a bit and kisses him softly.

"Course I'm happy. Are you?"

He nods. His life has never been as good as it is right now.

"Nearly forgot." Steven pushes himself off, nearly winding him and goes to the tree rummaging about then coming back with a present.

"Here." Steven offers it to him. "I know we agreed not to get anything for each other, spend it on the kids but…"

He sits up and opens it.

Johnny Cash live at Falsom Prison DVD. A set of new cuff links and a bottle of Jameson Gold Reserve whiskey.

"I wasn't sure about the whiskey but the bloke in the shop said it was good." Good. Expensive, but not so expensive that he won't think twice about drinking it.

"Very thoughtful." He pulls Steven down into his lap and kisses him then reaches into his bag and pulls out Steven's present. "This is for you."

Steven frowns at the A4 envelope, the only thing he could find in the way of wrapping paper, looks at him then opens it.

"Seriously?"

He nods. Steven had been moaning about it for nearly two years and sitting in the airport realising he'd left Steven's present in the lorry it was all he could think to get him.

"A week. Anywhere you want. Whenever you want." A holiday, a proper holiday, just them, no horses, no Ann, no Cheryl. Not when he got sick of travelling and decided to skip a show to spend time at home. Not when he decided when Steven decided although he knows that he'll call it in during a lull in competitions, he'd miss a show for him but Steven won't let him.

"Dublin." Steven states.

"Dublin?" He frowns that is the last place he thought Steven would want to go.

"Yeah."

"I was thinking Dubai or…" Somewhere hot, sunny, like Steven kept saying when it came up.

"Yeah right." Steven rolls his eyes.

"Why not?" He frowns. Two years together and Steven still surprises him.

"Because if we're there you'll never be off the phone back here and if something does go wrong it's a flight back. Can't be doing with the hassle. Rather go to Dublin."

"We go to Dublin all the time." Although they don't stay there. It's more passing through.

"Didn't tell you where I wanted to stay."

Well shit. That is going to cost him. Not that the money matters.

"Besides which it's not like we're there sight-seeing."

"Oh really?"

"My holiday, you're going to be naked at all times except maybe when you take me for dinner."

"Got this all planned out?"

He gets a firm nod.

"Don't tell me it doesn't appeal to you."

"I think I'll cope…" Might need a holiday after the holiday to recover though.

Steven wraps his arms around him, hugs him and kisses his neck.

"Thanks."

* * *

A/N: The end of this chapter is a bit of a experiment but I wanted to see if I could write fluff without being boring. Let me know...


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